34m

By the time Si Jin woke up that afternoon, Yan Sui’an’s fever had gone down quite a bit. He reached over and gently touched his forehead while he slept, finally feeling a bit more at ease.

Carefully, he started to get up. But even in his sleep, Yan Sui’an reflexively tightened his grip, as if afraid he’d leave.

Si Jin still couldn’t get used to this side of him. It was too different from the cold, indifferent Yan Sui’an in his memories. And yet, no matter how he tried, he couldn’t bring himself to picture Yan Sui’an as “Whatever.”

Letting out a long sigh, he got up, pulled on a sweater, and quietly left the room. He closed the door softly behind him and even paused to listen. Only when he was sure Yan Sui’an hadn’t woken up did he finally relax.

He found his phone on top of the shoe cabinet by the entryway and sat on the sofa to check it. He saw several messages from Song Xiaoxi, all sent about an hour ago.

[Just woke up. Did you finish moving everything? I’ll come over after lunch.]

[Si Jin, you’re still not here? Should I come find you at Xingyun City?]

[Where are you?]

[Your landlord says you’re not moving anymore. What happened?]

Si Jin stood and walked to the window before calling him. The call connected almost immediately, like the other side had been waiting for it.

“Xiao Si?” Song Xiaoxi sounded anxious. “Why haven’t you answered? I was so worried.”

Si Jin didn’t know how to explain what was going on. After hesitating for a long time, he finally said, “I might not be able to move right now.”

“What happened?” Song Xiaoxi immediately picked up on the tension in his voice. “Is it your roommate? Or the landlord?”

Staring out the window, Si Jin felt drained. Not wanting to make things more complicated, he simply said, “Yeah… the roommate isn’t okay with it. And I figured there’s still over a month left on the lease, so I’ll just wait it out.”

There was a brief silence. Then Song Xiaoxi gently reassured him, “It’s okay. Honestly, your place is really good. If the landlord is open to negotiating rent, try asking for a discount. Over here isn’t as nice as yours anyway.”

“Mm.” Si Jin sighed. “I’m mostly worried about Second Sister.”

Song Xiaoxi chuckled. “That’s nothing to stress over. Remember I told you one of the new colleagues is looking for a place too? They said if you gave up yours, they’d take it. And I’ll keep your old room saved for you, no matter what.”

“Thanks,” Si Jin said softly. His mind was a mess, and he had no energy to think about anything else. All he felt toward Song Xiaoxi at the moment was gratitude. “Really. I’m sorry to trouble you with all this.”

“It’s not trouble at all. Just don’t keep everything bottled up, okay? If you’re feeling down, call me. You’ve finally got some time off, go do something fun.”

“Okay.”

As soon as Song Xiaoxi mentioned going out, Si Jin remembered the date he had originally planned with Whatever.

After hanging up, the living room fell silent again. He curled up on the sofa with his knees drawn in, mind blank. The two-day break had been hard-won, but now he didn’t know what to do with himself. He had no idea how to face Yan Sui’an once he woke up again.

After sitting there in a daze for a long time, he realized he hadn’t even eaten lunch yet. He opened his phone to check the food delivery apps but couldn’t find anything he wanted.

In the end, he just ordered a wooden barrel rice bowl at random. To distract himself, he opened the editor account and replied to some messages. But even after doing all that, only half an hour had passed.

Feeling aimless, he instinctively opened a writing app he hadn’t touched in a long time.

Before becoming an editor, he used to write stories just for fun. But work had gotten busy, and he barely had time anymore. Looking at the unfamiliar words on the screen now, it felt like a different lifetime.

He skimmed through what he had written and, without thinking too much, picked up where he had left off and continued writing.

When you’re bored, it’s easy to get hyper-focused. Time passed quickly. The next thing he knew, the doorbell rang, snapping him out of his trance. He looked up, surprised at how much he’d written in what felt like the blink of an eye.

He let out a breath, set the phone aside, and got up to get the delivery. But just as he returned to the dining area, he heard fast footsteps coming from the master bedroom.

Yan Sui’an emerged, face dark, eyes locked onto the takeout bag in Si Jin’s hand. His expression softened slightly, as if realizing something.

Si Jin ignored the panic in his eyes and asked quietly, “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah.”

“Then come eat something.”

Yan Sui’an looked pleased and obediently sat down across from him.

They ate quietly. Si Jin only picked at his food before getting up to grab the thermometer.

When Yan Sui’an finished drinking some water and saw what he was doing, he sat still and let him take his temperature. His eyes were calm, dark, and quietly glowing.

“You still have a slight fever,” Si Jin said as he put the thermometer away. “You should take some more cold medicine.”

When he came back, Yan Sui’an had already taken the medicine himself.

“Baby.”

“We were supposed to talk, right?”

Si Jin cut him off. His hands were nervously clenched in front of him, and he didn’t dare look up.

“You’re clear-headed now, right? Can we talk?”

The smile faded from Yan Sui’an’s face. He didn’t hesitate. “Okay.”

After cleaning up the table, Si Jin poured himself a glass of water and walked to the living room only to find Yan Sui’an staring down at the still-lit phone screen on the sofa.

He froze, suddenly uncomfortable. Walking over, he picked it up and locked the screen. “Don’t go through my stuff.”

Yan Sui’an looked a little disappointed. “I wasn’t trying to. The screen was just on.”

Then, noticing Si Jin’s frown, he added, “It’s good. What you wrote. Did you post it?”

“No. Company rules. editors can’t publish their own work.”

Si Jin looked down, feeling like the conversation was going off track. Before Yan Sui’an could say more, he steered it back. “You said we should talk.”

“Yeah.”

Yan Sui’an sat half an arm’s length away. He looked like he wanted to move closer but didn’t dare. Instead, he turned to face him.

“I don’t want to break up. I don’t want you to move out. Anything else, I won’t stop you from doing.”

Si Jin’s face darkened. “We agreed to try things out, remember? And you said back then, even if it didn’t work out, it’d be fine.”

“Baby, you can’t say that.” Yan Sui’an’s voice was low and restrained. “I wanted to tell you so many times. But you said you didn’t like me, so I kept quiet. I really want to be with you. I can’t pretend online forever. Don’t you have even a little bit of feeling for me?”

He reached out and grabbed Si Jin’s hand where it rested on the edge of the sofa.

Si Jin reflexively tried to pull back. But when he looked up in surprise, he met a pair of eyes filled with intense, desperate sincerity.

Yan Sui’an’s eyes were long and deep, his double eyelids casting shadows that made every emotion inside them vividly clear. In that moment, Si Jin could feel the sadness and longing behind his words.

“I…” He paused for a long time, then shook his head firmly. “I really like Whatever. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. But—”

He suddenly found himself unable to continue. The words were too hurtful. He didn’t want to see Yan Sui’an’s expression become even more pained, but this really was how he felt.

He was never someone who spoke freely. Words that were cruel or too blunt always felt difficult to say. Especially now, when the person standing in front of him was someone he had once trusted completely.

“Forget it,” Yan Sui’an suddenly said.

Si Jin didn’t understand what he meant and froze for a moment.

But the next second, Yan Sui’an grabbed his hand tightly. That stunningly handsome face leaned in, his eyes filled with a stubborn light.

“Do you really hate me? Do you feel uncomfortable just seeing me?”

Of course not.

Even if Si Jin didn’t feel much affection toward Yan Sui’an, he was still his roommate. Besides, with a face like that, anyone would find it hard to dislike him.

So Si Jin hesitated for less than a second before shaking his head honestly.

He wanted to explain that liking someone wasn’t just about looks, but Yan Sui’an didn’t give him a chance to speak.

“Then let’s try again. Can’t we?” Yan Sui’an’s eyes lowered slightly, and his voice softened. “I haven’t even officially become your boyfriend. Let’s treat it as getting to know each other again, alright, baby? I really can’t break up with you. Whatever you don’t like about me, I’ll change.”

The more he spoke, the more he couldn’t help but lean in closer, until Si Jin’s back was pressed into the soft sofa cushion and he couldn’t escape from the embrace.

“Don’t be like this,” Si Jin forced out, his face unknowingly flushed bright red. “You’re fine. There’s nothing you need to change. It’s just that we’re not really...”

“I don’t want to hear the rest.”

Yan Sui’an’s gaze darkened. Looking at Si Jin’s confused expression, he couldn’t help but press his body closer and wrap his arms tightly around him, like a big dog seeking affection.

“Baby, can we just try again? Like before. Don’t leave.”

He still hadn’t fully recovered from his fever. His body was burning with heat, and that warmth spread into Si Jin’s as well.

Si Jin had hardly ever been this physically close to anyone before. The scent on Yan Sui’an’s body, cold and unfamiliar yet somehow comforting, filled every breath.

His mind was racing, but he still couldn’t think of any solution.

In the silence, Yan Sui’an held him tighter and sniffled a bit, his voice low and hoarse. “Last night I rushed out to pick you up and forgot to change. The wind in that alley was freezing. It gave me a headache.”

Si Jin remembered how, when Yan Sui’an had pulled him into the car last night, he’d draped his own coat over him. His resistance faded in an instant.

“Then you should go rest.”

“I’m afraid if I fall asleep, you’ll move out while I’m not looking.” Yan Sui’an rubbed his head against Si Jin’s shoulder. “I want to keep watching you.”

Si Jin looked away awkwardly, the hair brushing against his cheek and neck making him feel slightly ticklish.

“I won’t. Just go rest.”

“Then will you say yes or not?”

“…”

“Baby, do you really hate me that much? I won’t do anything to you.”

Worn down by his persistence, Si Jin hesitated for a long time. Unable to find a better answer, he reluctantly nodded. “Let’s just leave it at that for now. We’ll talk again after you’re better.”

“Baby, does that mean you agreed?” Yan Sui’an suddenly froze. Then he lifted his head from Si Jin’s shoulder, his dark eyes shimmering brightly.

Si Jin was overwhelmed by the intensity of his gaze and instinctively looked down. He had no choice but to nod. “Mm.”

He told himself that even if he didn’t agree, Yan Sui’an would just keep pestering him. There really wasn’t any other option. Just like before, when he agreed casually. Spending a little more time with Yan Sui’an wouldn’t change anything.

His thoughts were too jumbled to think of a better plan.

Hearing his response, Yan Sui’an immediately brightened and moved in to hug him again, burying his face in Si Jin’s stomach with force.

“Alright, go sleep now,” Si Jin said, slightly embarrassed, reaching out to push his head away.

But after getting a yes, Yan Sui’an seemed to gain even more energy and asked, “Then what about you?”

Si Jin paused for a moment. It was still early, so he replied, “I already took time off. I don’t have anything to do. I was planning to take a shift at Yisu tonight.”

Yisu always needed part-time help, and it wasn’t too late to message Cheng-jie 

But unexpectedly, after hearing that, Yan Sui’an suddenly said, “Baby, didn’t you take time off to go on a date with me?”

"....."

Not knowing what to say, Si Jin could only remain silent.

It really was a date, just not these past two days. Originally, he had planned to focus on work for a few days, then start his leave on Thursday to go out with Whatever and spend a few days exploring Haicheng.

But because of what happened last night, he changed his plans. The two days off he had cleared were supposed to be used for organizing the new house.

Now, given the situation, moving out wasn't going to happen any time soon.

As he remained silent for a long time, Yan Sui'an seemed to understand.

Just as he was about to casually make up an excuse, the fingers resting on his knees were suddenly grasped and gently squeezed.

"Si Jin."

It felt like the first time Yan Sui'an had called his name so seriously.

Si Jin snapped out of it, looked down in surprise, and saw Yan Sui'an’s bright eyes. "Let’s go ride a boat."

"Right now?"

"Yeah, didn’t we agree to go a while ago?" Yan Sui'an didn’t hesitate, stood up, and grabbed his wrist. "If we go now, the timing’s perfect. The sun’s out too."

Still dazed, Si Jin let himself be pulled up. It wasn’t until he’d put on his jacket and walked to the entrance to change shoes that he suddenly realized what was happening.

"Aren’t you sick with a fever?"

Yan Sui'an smiled. "If I can go out and have fun with baby, then I don’t feel unwell. Besides, getting some sun is good when you're sick."

Unable to argue with him, Si Jin just followed him out.

But when they arrived, they found a long line at the boat dock. Clearly, a lot of people had the same idea of enjoying a sunny day on the central lake.

From a distance, Si Jin pressed his lips together and looked at Yan Sui'an’s slightly flushed cheeks. "Let’s just walk around nearby. There are so many people in line, by the time it’s our turn it might be dark."

Yan Sui'an just squeezed his hand. "It’s fine. Want something to drink? I’ll go buy it."

"I’m not thirsty," Si Jin shook his head.

But after glancing at the couples lining up ahead, Yan Sui'an seemed to think of something. "Wait here for me. I’ll be right back."

Si Jin froze for a second and wanted to stop him, but in the blink of an eye, Yan Sui'an had already walked off and disappeared.

He stayed in line a while longer, watching more tourists board boats while few returned. Glancing at the time, he began to feel discouraged.

After hesitating, just as he was about to message Yan Sui'an, a warm cup was pressed against his cheek.

Startled, he turned around. A sunhat was placed on his head, and when he looked up, Yan Sui'an was handing him a cup of hot orange juice.

"Just bought it from the back. Not sure how it tastes."

Si Jin adjusted the hat, hesitated for a second, then accepted the drink. "Thanks."

The straw was already inserted. He took a sip. It tasted nice. rich orange flavor, not too sour.

"Maybe we should just go back," he hesitated, but still suggested.

Yan Sui'an rested a hand on his shoulder and winked. "We don’t need to wait in line. We can go straight in."

Confused, Si Jin followed him to the ticket counter. The staff glanced at them once, then let them through.

"Weren’t there no boats left?"

"I booked a six-person boat," Yan Sui'an replied behind him. "Most people want two-person boats today. The four- and six-person ones don’t need a wait."

Si Jin put on a light orange life vest and got on the boat. Seeing the larger boat and the paddles, he felt a little lost and looked toward Yan Sui'an.

"Do you know how to row?"

"Don’t worry," Yan Sui'an, sitting across from him, laughed. "Didn’t you say I’m strong and would row faster than everyone else?"

Those things he had said online made Si Jin blush now that they were brought up like this.

The central lake also had pedal boats, but Si Jin preferred the feeling of rowing. Before long, he was sweating, and when he turned around, he realized they’d gone quite far.

"Take a break."

Yan Sui'an reached over and touched his back, helping him take off his jacket.

"Is this safe?" Si Jin hesitated.

Yan Sui'an smiled and motioned for him to look at his movements.

He was clearly skilled. His turns were quick and steady. They had left the other boats far behind, and now there wasn’t a single boat around them.

Obediently, Si Jin took off his jacket and folded it neatly, then put on the thin life vest again. Rubbing his sore arms, he turned to watch Yan Sui'an row. Somehow, all the anxiety he had felt earlier completely faded away.

After rowing far enough, Yan Sui'an stopped, leaned back, and looked around at the scenery.

"Things really do look different from the boat."

Si Jin hummed in agreement, then picked up his phone and took a picture of the park nearby.

The sunlight was just right, the surface of the water sparkled softly, it was peaceful and beautiful.

"Baby," Yan Sui'an suddenly looked at him.

Si Jin put his phone away and looked at him in confusion, not responding.

Yan Sui'an didn’t mind. He thought for a second and asked, "If Whatever really was a stranger, and you came to ride a boat with him, what would you talk about?"

The unexpected question caught Si Jin off guard again, and he froze.

After a moment, he shook his head. "I never thought about it."

In this relationship, Whatever had always taken the lead. Si Jin hadn’t really thought about things like that. He just instinctively trusted that Whatever would always have something ready to say.

"Then if you think of me as a stranger right now," Yan Sui'an said gently, "what would you want to ask me?"

The thought was difficult for Si Jin to imagine. He hesitated for a long time before finally saying something.

"Maybe... I’d ask about your family." After saying that, he felt like it was a lame question and lowered his head. "I’m not very good at talking."

Yan Sui'an smiled. "Then you can ask me."

Si Jin looked up and met his smiling eyes.

"You’ve seen my mom plenty of times. She’s just overly enthusiastic and has no sense of boundaries. My dad’s kind of semi-retired. He loves to talk too, always pretending to be wise when he’s bored. He looks kind of serious on the outside, but honestly, he listens to everything my mom says." Yan Sui'an laughed. "I’ve got an older brother and sister. They’re both really busy and barely home. Our relationship’s okay, but whenever they see me, they nag nonstop. So in my family, I’m basically at the bottom of the food chain."

Si Jin listened quietly, a little envious. "But your family must treat you really well."

From the way Aunt Feng treated Yan Sui'an, it was clear that as the youngest, he’d grown up being loved and spoiled. Not to mention, after going through that whole kidnapping incident, his family probably looked out for him even more.

"What about you, baby?" Yan Sui'an asked curiously.

Si Jin hesitated for two seconds.

"My parents live in the countryside. They run a small general store. My oldest sister helps them out back home. My older brother just got married during the New Year and moved to the city. My second sister should be coming to Haicheng in a few days. I also have a younger brother, but we’re not close."

"You’ve got a big family," Yan Sui’an remarked, then seemed to recall something. "Do your parents not like you?"

It was a blunt question, but surprisingly, Si Jin didn’t feel uncomfortable. He simply nodded.

"Yeah. Their favorite is my older brother. Maybe it’s because he knows how to talk sweetly, says nice things to them, makes promises."

"That’s just selling pipe dreams," Yan Sui’an curled his lip. "Honestly, that’s just dumb."

Right after speaking, his expression shifted slightly as he realized he might’ve gone too far. He glanced at Si Jin, a bit cautiously.

"I didn’t mean anything by it. Don’t be mad."

Si Jin blinked, expressionless.

"It’s fine. You were right. That’s exactly how they are."

There was a brief silence. Then Yan Sui’an suddenly said,

"When your second sister arrives, let her stay at Xingyun City."

Before Si Jin could refuse, Yan Sui’an added,

"The room at Fan Siyuan’s place has always been reserved for your sister. She’s never been to Haicheng before, and you’ll feel more at ease if she stays nearby. The location is good too, close to her future workplace."

"You know Fan Siyuan."

Si Jin’s eyes widened, finally remembering what felt off that day.

Fan Siyuan had come downstairs with a rental flyer just as he was getting off work, clearly timing it. He had made sure Si Jin saw it, then gave him a full tour of the apartment. And after that, instead of going back to finish posting his flyers, he followed Si Jin back home.

Back then, Si Jin had been too focused on passing the news to his second sister and hadn’t thought more of it. Only now did he realize how slow he had been to catch on.

"Fan Siyuan’s a friend of mine. But he really did just happen to have a spare room. I thought it was a good fit, so I asked him to hold it. You want your sister to have a better life in Haicheng, right? No one comes to the city hoping to suffer."

Yan Sui’an spoke with sincerity. Every word hit right where Si Jin’s heart was most vulnerable.

After a long pause, Si Jin finally exhaled and gave in.

"Thank you."

Seeing him relent, a smile finally spread across Yan Sui’an’s face.

"No need to thank me."

But the next second, something occurred to Si Jin.

"So... the apartment we’re living in now, it’s actually yours too, isn’t it?"

"....."

Yan Sui’an’s smile froze for two seconds. Then he suddenly covered his face and let out a couple of fake coughs.

"Baby, let me explain."

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