"Bride? Yan Yan?”
Seeing there was no response from inside the room for a long time, the old woman called out softly again.
“I’m coming.” Jiang Yan slowly finished applying his lipstick.
The tentacles extending from his abdomen seemed quite displeased, flailing in the air in protest, attempting to sneak attack once more.
Seizing the opportunity, he stealthily climbed up his wife’s waist, the black tentacles wrapping around Jiang Yan’s fair neck.
Just as the tips of his tentacles touched Jiang Yan's lips again, they were suddenly grabbed by Jiang Yan!
“Smack.”
The tentacles drooped down in disappointment. Jiang Yan mercilessly shoved them back into his abdomen and casually grabbed the red veil from the table, covering his head.
“Stay quiet,” he warned the thing inside him.
—
The moonlight was tinged red by the lanterns, and Jian Hou stared wide-eyed in terror at the red-skinned infant girl wriggling amidst a pile of yellow and white ghost money.
It’s alive?
Jian Hou was frozen in shock. The child, who had just been motionless and stiff, was now starting to move?
In the next moment, the baby suddenly opened her mouth, revealing white maggots, and began wailing!
“Wah—!”
“What”
Jian Hou jumped up in fright, clinging onto Tao Shi!
[What the hell! Starting with something this big?]
[This newcomer is completely stunned.]
[Damn, who wouldn't be stunned? Only the veterans can remain this calm.]
Tao Shi stumbled as Jian Hou lunged at him, nearly causing them both to fall.
“Teacher Jian! Stay calm!” Tao Shi quickly steadied himself while trying to reassure him.
How could Jian Hou remain calm upon entering the game and witnessing such a scene?
The red-skinned baby was still on the ground, crying and writhing. Gradually, her cries changed, shifting from wails to something akin to a wildcat's howl.
Her tiny body contorted, arching her back and getting on all fours, the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, her eyes devoid of pupils glaring intensely at the strangers.
Jian Hou couldn’t bear to look again, hanging onto Tao Shi while continuously apologizing, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”
While apologizing, he cursed inwardly, what kind of ridiculous world is this?!
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to step on… ah—!!”
Before he could finish, the baby suddenly lunged towards his face!
He quickly buried his head into Tao Shi’s shoulder, all he could think was two words—this is it!
He buried his head into Tao Shi’s shoulder, and now all that filled his mind was that thought—but the imagined pain of being bitten by the ghost baby didn’t come. Slowly opening his eyes, he saw the red-skinned baby being held tightly by Tao Shi, as if he were wringing out a chick.
With one hand gripping the baby’s neck and the other holding the teacher clinging to him, Tao Shi looked at the baby with disdain and gently reassured, “Teacher Jian, don’t be afraid; it’s just a little ghost baby.”
The captured baby squirmed angrily in Tao Shi’s grip, crying out and trying to escape.
Jian Hou stared in disbelief. Just a little ghost baby?
Come on! This is a ghost baby!
[Wow!]
[He just grabs it like that?]
[Tao Shi even seems a bit impatient in his gaze.]
[This newbie’s not up to par, getting this scared.]
[It’s been said they’re a newbie, so let’s not be too harsh. How many newcomers can stay calm in front of this scene?]
[Jiang Yan! I saw the replay of his dungeon. He remained calm even facing an S-class system NPC! His mental fortitude is incredible!]
[Hey upstairs, Jiang Yan isn’t a newbie; he just got his start.]
[Hahaha! The upstairs doesn’t know? Jiang Yan is an old hand who’s just slacking off.]
Tao Shi clicked his tongue in disbelief, frowning, “What’s wrong with the main system? Why Is it always human experimentation or child abuse?”
Jian Hou gasped, his voice trembling, “They do human experiments and abuse children?!”
Tao Shi quickly explained, “This is the main system's data; it’s fake.”
At that moment, a silver-haired Yu Jia, standing beside them, extinguished his cigarette and smiled, “I remember that Tao Shi doesn’t like children.”
“I just don’t like children being around me. They’re so noisy and annoying,” Tao Shi replied, still holding onto his teacher, “but I detest people who abuse children.”
Yu Jia smiled and fell silent.
Tao Shi’s gaze darkened as he looked at the baby in his hands.
Although he had seen many inhumane things in this bizarre game world, everyone has their own bottom line.
This was a final proof of their humanity in this world filled with slaughter.
Thinking of this, he sighed discreetly, and the corners of his mouth curved slightly upward as he looked at the teacher hanging on him.
How many years has it been? He once behaved like a normal person, just like his teacher. The red-skinned baby girl kept struggling in his hands, and he looked at the infant with indifference. Now that he thinks back, he really hasn’t been normal for a long time.
At this moment, the driver walking ahead turned around. The instant he saw what was in the man’s hands, he was taken aback: “Hey! Which unlucky person left this in the middle of the road?!”
Saying this, the driver quickly stepped forward and snatched the baby girl from his hands as if he were grabbing a small dog, holding her by the neck as he walked toward the roadside.
“What’s this for?” Jian Hou still clung to him.
Tao Shi replied, “I don’t know either.”
The players looked on in confusion at the driver’s actions.
Normally, every household would have two symmetrical lion statues at their doorsteps, but in this town, every home had two small pointed towers about half a person tall.
The driver casually walked to one of the small towers and roughly shoved the baby girl inside.
After being stuffed into the tower, the baby’s wild howls transformed into normal cries.
She cried heartbreakingly, as if she had just been born.
Standing outside the tower, the driver listened to the girl’s cries, clasped his hands together, and murmured, “Red Ghost Lady, please don’t blame me…”
Gradually, the baby’s cries grew softer until they disappeared completely.
A gust of wind blew, scattering the paper money on the ground, and the entire town returned to a dead silence, with only the driver still murmuring “Red Ghost Lady.”
At that moment, everyone heard the sound of high heels clicking behind them.
“Clack, clack, clack…”
Jian Hou buried his head in Tao Shi’s shoulder again, whispering, “There’s something behind us…”
Tao Shi patted his hand, comforting him, “Don’t be afraid, I heard it.”
No one turned around, and the footsteps grew closer and closer, sounding especially jarring in the silence, stopping right behind the most timid Jian Hou.
Jian Hou felt a chill run down his back, and the next moment, a large hand landed on his shoulder…
Jian Hou jumped, screaming, “Ah!!!!”
“Oh my—!”
The person behind him was startled by his sudden scream and cried out in surprise.
When Jian Hou heard it was a person’s voice, he slowly turned around and saw standing behind him a person in an embroidered qipao, wearing high heels, with smoky eye makeup…
The person’s face was slathered with thick foundation, but the stubble around their lips was impossible to conceal. They looked at the several outsiders in front of them and lifted their delicate fingers: “Are you here for a wedding banquet?”
Jian Hou replied in a daze, “Uh…”
The person frowned, their finely shaved brows knitted in displeasure: “If you’re here for the banquet, go to the town mayor’s house! What are you doing standing here?”
Tao Shi pointed to the driver still praying in front of the stone tower and said, “We were going to go, but we couldn’t find the way, and our uncle who was supposed to pick us up left.”
The person in the qipao looked in the direction Tao Shi pointed. The moment they saw the driver’s actions, their expression changed instantly, and they cursed, “That Wu Lao Er has lost his mind! Doesn’t he pay attention when bringing people in?!”
Saying this, they pulled out a small white flower brooch used for funerals from their handbag—exactly six flowers—and handed them to them.
They urged, “Hurry! Don’t linger! Otherwise, you’ll be cursed by the Red Ghost Lady.”
The players quickly pinned the flowers to their chests.
Cao Youfeng pretended to be curious and asked, “Brother, what is the Red Ghost Lady?”
The person’s voice deepened: “Don’t ask what you shouldn’t! All you need to know is, if you are cursed, you won’t be able to go back.”
After that, their voice rose again, “And! I’m a woman.”
With that, they twisted their sturdy waist and walked away in their high heels, presumably to attend the wedding banquet.
Watching the person’s retreating figure, the silver-haired Yu Jia stroked his chin thoughtfully: “It seems... the main system is becoming more politically correct.”
Tao Shi shot him a glance as if he thought of something, and a provocative smile crept onto his lips: “Respecting others is keeping up with the times. Young Master Yu, your thinking is sometimes too conservative.”
Yu Jia snorted coldly, pulling out a lighter to light a cigarette: “Stop trying to sell me your American values; I’m not buying your capitalist nonsense.”
With that, he followed the person in the qipao as they walked ahead.
Tao Shi made a face at Yu Jia’s back and muttered, “Old fossil!”
After the snark, he pulled the still dazed Jian Hou along, saying, “Let’s go, teacher, we’re off to the wedding banquet.”
“Um… what about that driver?”
"He’s just an NPC leading the way; his role is probably done"
“…Oh”
—
The town mayor's house is an old-style courtyard with three entrances and three exits.
In the yard, there is a giant locust tree, and beneath it is a well. Next to the well stands a stone tablet with the words "Fortune and Longevity" inscribed on it.
As the six of them stepped into the courtyard, they were warmly greeted by the host's family: "Are you Yan Yan’s classmates? Come, come, come! Walk inside."
The six of them politely called out “uncle” and “aunt” in unison as they followed along into the courtyard.
The deeper they went, the more bizarre things they discovered. Although it was a wedding, white mourning cloth was hung from the beams, and the guests all wore white flowers on their chests.
Moreover, a large portion of the male guests were dressed in women’s clothing and wearing heavy makeup, calling each other sister and little sister.
Yu Jia felt goosebumps rising all over his body; this was even creepier than the red-skinned baby girl they had seen earlier.
“What’s going on?” Yu Jia complained.
Cao Youfeng also sensed something was off: “Even if it’s political correctness, it shouldn’t be like this, right?”
Tao Shi replied, “Let’s just observe what happens.”
Jian Hou didn’t dare to speak; he just wanted to get through the wedding as quickly as possible.
The players were led to the main hall, which was filled with guests, bustling with activity, everyone wearing festive smiles.
At the main seating area, there were four chairs, occupied by two pairs of middle-aged couples dressed in dark red traditional wedding attire—likely the parents of the bride and groom.
They stood in the hall for a while until the clock on the wall pointed to midnight.
Clang—!
Accompanied by the sound of a gong, the guests inside the hall instantly fell silent.
Standing in the doorway, a man wearing a white melon hat and a red jacket sang loudly:
“The bride is brought in, with blessings of fortune, longevity, and joy—!”
The players looked toward the entrance; the bride had yet to appear.
They then saw two women carrying a large rooster walking to the doorway, a kitchen knife swiftly slicing across its neck!
Hot blood from the chicken splattered all over the threshold.
“Eat—!”
With another clang of the gong, the man continued to sing:
“The bride enters the hall, with treasures of gold and silver filling the great hall—!”
Suddenly, the sound of jewels and jades clinking came from the doorway. Dressed in a beautifully woven red wedding dress and covered with a red veil, the bride was supported as she walked in.
The bride’s clean embroidered shoes stepped into the freshly spilled chicken blood, leaving a trail of bloody footprints.
Jian Hou sucked in a cold breath; this wedding looked increasingly bizarre.
Jiang Yan couldn’t see the guests in front of him because of the veil covering his face; he could only see the chicken blood on the ground and the various pairs of shoes all around.
“Damn, my feet hurt,” Jiang Yan complained.
“Ancestor! You’ve only been standing for less than 15 minutes!” 663 retorted.
Jiang Yan sighed deeply: “15 minutes? I didn’t stand this long even at my own wedding.”
Back when he married Yu Xiu, they had only stood for a little while at the civil affairs bureau to register and pledge; at the wedding venue, they just exchanged “I do” and skipped all the formalities, even the toasting part.
He was eager to rest while Yu Xiu was eager to consummate the marriage.
Jian Hou had once complained to him that it was the most perfunctory wedding he had ever attended.
He hadn’t expected that participating in this “play house” game would complete the wedding process.
Clang—!
“Groom enters—!”
The players craned their necks to look outside but saw no groom.
Instead, they saw several young men dressed in mourning clothes with red sashes around their waists carrying a pitch-black coffin into the hall. Finally, the coffin was placed right at Jiang Yan's feet.
Next, they brought another chicken and quickly sliced its neck. This time, the blood from the chicken poured all over the black coffin.
“What… what is going on?” Jian Hou nervously tugged at Tao Shi’s sleeve with one hand while holding onto Cao Youfeng’s bandage with the other. “Isn’t this a wedding? Which wedding involves bringing a coffin?”
“Bringing the groom out, of course,” Tao Shi replied.
“So… the groom is in the coffin?”
“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Tao Shi smiled as if it were a matter of course.
Sure enough, after spilling the entire chicken’s blood on the coffin, the men immediately used a hammer to pry it open.
Then, they pulled out a man dressed in a bright red wedding suit, straight and stiff—
To put it bluntly, the man was quite handsome, and even though his skin had turned pale and rotten, it couldn't conceal his beauty. Unfortunately, he was a corpse.
After bringing out the corpse, Jian Hou’s eyes instantly widened in disbelief: “This... this is...”
Noticing his unusual demeanor, Tao Shi asked, “Teacher, do you know him?”
Jian Hou was so shocked that he began to stutter: “This... this is my friend! He... how did he die? We’ve been looking for him for half a year, and it turns out he…” As he spoke, tears rolled down his face.
He didn’t know where the sudden courage came from, but he wanted to rush forward to grab Yu Xiu's corpse, only to be yanked back by Tao Shi.
“Teacher, calm down!” Tao Shi whispered, “This is just a system NPC. The main system’s NPCs are based on real people; your friend is likely not dead but in the game, just like you.”
Due to Jian Hou's unusual behavior, guests around them had started to look over.
Cao Youfeng quietly reminded him, “Teacher Jian, be careful. If your friend is still alive, and you disrupt the game…”
Hearing this, Jian Hou forcibly held back his tears.
He silently mourned in his heart; he never expected that the person who had disappeared for over half a year would appear here, and in such a manner.
At a wedding.
He had previously attended this guy’s wedding, and it was terrible!
He had said that weddings should be more grand after all—one only gets married once, but the two didn’t listen!
Look what happened!
The moment the coffin opened, Jiang Yan saw the appearance of Yu Xiu’s corpse.
He wasn’t scared at all, nor did he feel uncomfortable facing a similar corpse; instead, he chuckled lightly and asked, “Did they just dig him up from the grave?”
[Little Widow is Amazing!]
[Jiang Yan’s attitude is really good.]
[This was the calmness in the face of a disaster! It’s just a husband dug out from a grave, what’s the big deal]
[Hahaha! After all, he can still act cute to the goat-headed monster and throw a tantrum at the tentacle monster!]
Only saying, he truly lives up to his reputation.
The guests were momentarily silent.
Hearing the familiar voice, Jian Hou once again widened his eyes in shock.
Jiang Yan kicked Yu Xiu’s corpse, which was being supported by others, and spoke lazily, “Let’s get to the ceremony. After that, I want to go back to sleep.”
“Yan Yan!” Jiang Yan’s mother, sitting in the main seat, scolded in a low voice.
Jian Hou trembled and called out in disbelief, “Jiang... Jiang Yan?”
The familiar voice made Jiang Yan freeze for a moment, then he directly lifted the veil—
His originally fair and handsome face, now made up, appeared rosy and delicate, and the jewelry on his head jingled with his movement.
The guests couldn’t help but sigh in admiration; he was truly a charming bride!
[Wow! Jiang Yan looks absolutely stunning in women’s clothes!]
[Top-notch beautiful widow!]
[Ahhh! I’m a fan of Jiang Yan’s looks!!]
[Before, saying I liked Jiang Yan’s looks would get me criticized for being superficial; now I can proudly say I like Jiang Yan’s face!]
[Jiang Yan fan +1]
[Sometimes I feel the main system arranges NPC identities based on the personal characteristics of real people! Jiang Yan fits this role perfectly.]
[Yes! To say who’s good-looking, there are many pretty people in the game! But none have Jiang Yan’s charm.]
[What charm?]
[The calm yet delicate widow charm.]
[Are you really complimenting him?]
Jiang Yan looked at Jian Hou in disbelief, providing his most expressive reaction in this instance.
Fearing he would suddenly break character, 663 quickly reminded him in his mind: “They are all your classmates, attending your wedding.”
Jiang Yan’s eyes widened: “You… how come…”
Why would Jian Hou appear here?! What wish did this guy make? What wish could he possibly have? How could he still be a player?!
Could it be that he was tricked into signing a contract with the main system?!
[Huh?! What’s wrong with Yan Yan?]
[He seems to recognize this newcomer]
[What the hell?! This newcomer actually knows Jiang Yan?! What luck?!]
Jiang Yan remained frozen in disbelief, staring at Jian Hou as he noticed the surrounding NPCs beginning to change their expressions toward him.
Ding!
Real Person NPC Jiang Yan triggers the “Pollution” countdown: ten, nine, eight…
[Why isn’t Yan Yan moving?! If he doesn’t move, he’ll break character!]
[This is it! Let’s catch up after the wedding is over!!]
[Come on! Move a little!!]
[Oh no? Is Jiang Yan going to flop in this little predicament?]
“Jiang Yan!!” 663 exclaimed in his mind.
Just at that moment, a familiar voice came from the doorway: “Of course, he was invited to attend our wedding.”
Everyone turned to look, only to see the groom, whose corpse was being carried, now standing alive at the entrance.
Jiang Yan instinctively looked back; it had been over half a year since he last heard this voice, and it felt both familiar and somewhat strange.
Yu Xiu was dressed in a bright red wedding robe, his green eyes sparkling with a mischievous smile that was enchanting.
He walked into the hall and took Jiang Yan’s hand in front of his own corpse: “At our wedding, your friend should certainly be present.”
For a moment, Jiang Yan couldn’t discern whether this was a scripted line from the system or a genuine conversation.
Rationality told him this was just an NPC modeled after Yu Xiu.
Yet every action of this NPC was too lifelike; even the warmth in the way he held Jiang Yan’s hand was familiar enough to make him tremble.
At that moment, Jiang Yan's mother, who had been seated in a high place, suddenly stood up. Looking at the man holding her son’s hand in shock, she asked, “W-what's going on? How can there be two Yu Xius?”
The town mayor sighed, his eyes misty with tears, and explained, “Mother-in-law, don’t you remember? I had a pair of twins! The one who passed away was our eldest, and this is our second child.”
Twins?
Jiang Yan blinked, his sky-blue eyes filled with confusion.
Not only Jiang Yan but all the guests were also bewildered.
“Then… which one did our Yan Yan marry, the older or the younger?” Jiang Yan's mother asked anxiously.
“Of course, it was the elder,” the mayor’s wife replied as if it were a matter of course.
Yu Xiu held Jiang Yan’s hand and smiled as he answered, “I’m here to take my brother’s place and marry my sister-in-law.”
When the term “sister-in-law” came from Yu Xiu’s lips, Jiang Yan felt goosebumps rise all over his body.
“This... this...” Jiang Yan’s mother wanted to say something else but ultimately sat back down in resignation. “Alright! Let’s begin.”
The man at the door continued to sing: “One bow to heaven and earth—!”
A black coffin was placed at the center of the wedding hall, with the bride standing in the middle, flanked by a living and a dead groom.
“Two bows to the high hall—!”
With friends all around, high spirits prevailed.
“Wife and husband bow to each other—!”
The living groom held the bride's hand, while the deceased groom was propped beside him, his body cold and stiff.
“Send them into the bridal chamber—!”
Jiang Yan maintained a wooden expression throughout; at that moment, all he wanted to say was two words: “Damn it.”
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