Scenes from the past flashed through his mind as Shang Jue looked at Lu Yuxing in front of him, a genuine smile curling at the corners of his lips. The memory of Lu Yuxing staring at him with red eyes, unable to speak because his mouth was blocked, brought him immense joy.
He didn't hide his emotions, and Lu Yuxing couldn't help but ask, "What are you laughing at?"
"Well... I was reminded of the past. You accidentally ate a wasabi candy and cried from the spiciness." Shang Jue said with a sincere smile, "It was really cute." He conveniently omitted any mention of how he had tormented Lu Yuxing.
Wasabi...
The word seemed to strike Lu Yuxing's nerves, and just hearing it made his eyes and nose sting, as if he had been hit with the pungent scent of wasabi. His body instinctively recalled that he indeed had such an experience.
Just listening to Shang Jue's casual description didn’t make Lu Yuxing feel that the incident of eating the wrong candy was particularly interesting. However, when he looked into Shang Jue's eyes, filled with genuine laughter, it felt like a beautiful memory.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t remember anything.
Lu Yuxing’s heart suddenly felt hollow, a chill seeping in from that emptiness, and the sense of void that came from not being able to empathize with Shang Jue spread through his limbs. The amnesia caused by the car accident a month ago suddenly felt tangible at that moment.
He didn’t show it on his face; in fact, he forced a slight smile to avoid dampening Shang Jue’s spirits with his overly bland reaction.
Shang Jue leaned against the wall, watching him, and noticed the faint curve of Lu Yuxing’s smile, feeling a bit confused.
This foolish dog can’t remember anything, yet he still smiles? How fake.
That fake smile on Lu Yuxing’s face felt so out of place. Shang Jue leaned his head against the wall behind him and nonchalantly nudged Lu Yuxing’s calf with his foot.
"What are you thinking about…"
His voice was low, tinged with an unconscious hint of caution. Shang Jue didn’t realize it, but Lu Yuxing did.
Lu Yuxing was slightly taken aback, surprised by Shang Jue’s keen observation.
He was a bit too attentive. This characteristic usually came with excessive tenderness and softness.
When he first saw Shang Jue, probably no one would associate those words with him; they would only think he was a well-mannered young man from a wealthy family. But on a second glance, when Shang Jue smiled casually, people would inadvertently associate some not-so-nice terms with him.
Lu Yuxing had to admit he had thought that way.
From the moment he woke up in the hospital and saw Shang Jue, his gaze had always been focused on Shang Jue's flaws.
Shang Jue had no idea that someone was subtly peering into his essence, having caught a glimpse of it, and continued to nudge Lu Yuxing’s knee, urging him to speak—though he actually wanted to kick him, which didn’t align with his current "boyfriend" identity.
Lu Yuxing instinctively wanted to retract his leg; he felt very uncomfortable with the light but persistent pressure on his calf—it was too ticklish.
The emptiness felt as if it were being filled with a soft cloud.
After Shang Jue had cracked open a little of himself, Lu Yuxing suddenly felt an inexplicable urge to explore, and it was extremely strong. He lowered his gaze to the tips of Shang Jue's feet that were playfully disturbing his knee, wanting to understand which side Shang Jue occupied—frivolous or “conservative.”
He lifted his gaze to observe the person in front of him.
Wearing a dark blue silk loungewear, the low saturation and grayish fabric made Shang Jue appear as if he were enveloped in soft light. Since the start of the semester, he hadn’t cut his hair; his short hair had grown a bit longer over the past month, and the hair at the back of his head stuck to the wall, standing up a bit.
Lu Yuxing reached out to tousle his soft sideburns and then lowered his head to kiss him.
As Shang Jue was about to blurt out, "Men's hair shouldn't be messed with," his lips parted, but no sound came out; instead, Lu Yuxing’s warm tongue slipped in.
In that moment of contact, both of them froze.
Lu Yuxing felt a shock from Shang Jue’s tongue, making every muscle in his body tense up as if he had been electrocuted.
He hadn’t intended to… be this intimate.
After a two-second pause, he raised his hand to cradle the back of Shang Jue's neck. Shang Jue’s entire spine felt as stiff as a wooden plank.
Lu Yuxing took a closer look and realized it was probably still a redwood.
Shang Jue turned red from head to toe.
He pushed Lu Yuxing’s tongue away, closed his lips tightly, and turned his head forcefully to the side, gasping for breath.
Still not having regained his composure, he met Lu Yuxing’s dazed eyes.
The latter looked at him with bright, dog-like eyes, earnestly asking, "…Did I kiss you wrong?"
Shang Jue: "... How the hell would I know!!"
He felt as if Lu Yuxing had stuffed a wasabi candy in his mouth, his eyes stinging and his teeth aching. "Baby... no! Lu Yuxing."
Hearing his name called, Lu Yuxing replied, "Mm."
Shang Jue wanted to say something but held back and changed his question. "Last time you took a few weeks off to go to the hospital for a check-up, what did the doctor say? They said your amnesia could recover on its own, right?"
"The doctor didn't say that."
"…"
Lu Yuxing continued, "But it can be treated. After a while, when the break comes, I’ll go to another hospital for a check-up."
Shang Jue's intentions were temporarily blocked by this response, and he curiously asked, "Aren't you planning to stop putting yourself through all this?"
Lu Yuxing was silent for a moment. "Yeah. I felt there was no need before."
Shang Jue pressed further, "And now?"
He felt Lu Yuxing's hand gently stroking the skin at the back of his neck.
Lu Yuxing looked at him, pressing his lips together.
"Now, I want to remember you."
Shang Jue was taken aback, his heartbeat skipping a beat.
His gaze tangled with Lu Yuxing's quiet eyes for a moment before looking away. His lips trembled slightly as he lowered his head to press against his chest.
Lu Yuxing asked, "Are you uncomfortable?"
Shang Jue's voice came out weakly, "… It's nothing."
It must be my conscience hurting.
Lu Yuxing lowered his eyelashes, not looking at him anymore.
"I’ve said before, if you want to break up, just say it. I can understand."
He had said the same thing before.
Last time, it was to push Shang Jue out of his life. This time, it was to avoid burdening the other person.
Shang Jue turned his face, his jaw muscles tightening and then relaxing, repeatedly, until he felt drained.
"… No, break up…" He took a deep breath. "Not breaking up, baby."
—
Saying he was being bullied might be too severe; it was just that he was always being grabbed by the neck and pushed down, smiling with a helpless yet gentle expression.
There were far fewer photos of Lu Yuxing on screen, most of which were in class group photos.
His boyfriend was really popular. The more Lu Yuxing scrolled down, the stronger this feeling became. For some reason, compared to seeing his own photos, these images of Shang Jue made Lu Yuxing feel more familiar, bringing him closer to the memories he had lost. It was as if, in his blocked memories, he had once looked at Shang Jue for a long time, feeling an unknown emotion.
The bedroom door next to him made a "click" sound as Shang Jue came out, his lips moist from rinsing.
He had rinsed his mouth and covered his lips with his fist to avoid letting Lu Yuxing notice.
Yesterday, he had gotten fired up just from a light touch on his lips, but today, after a real kiss, he felt no anger at all.
At this moment, the guilty feelings suppressed all other emotions, and not even a spark of anger could escape.
He had spent too long in the bathroom, and since Lu Yuxing was already out late, it was time to head back to the dorm.
Shang Jue thoughtfully said, “I’ll walk you down.”
As soon as Lu Yuxing pushed the door open and heard this, he turned to look at Shang Jue, who was dressed lightly. “It’s cold outside; never mind.”
The elevator was a bit slow; seven floors wasn’t too high, so Lu Yuxing simply decided to take the stairs.
Shang Jue stood half-hidden by the door, leaning against the frame as he watched him leave.
He stared at Lu Yuxing's back, still puzzled as to why Lu Yuxing would go through all this trouble for just a phone call.
This guy hadn’t had this attitude toward him a month ago…
Wanting to remember you…
What does that mean?
Shang Jue's gaze drifted off into the air, and the anxiety he had managed to suppress began to bubble back up.
Straight men aren’t so easily bent, right?