31

His kidneys were in excellent condition, no need for any supplements at all.

“Nine clans, nine clans, execute all nine clans for me!” Jing Xuan was furious.

Xue Qingshu flipped another page of the sage’s book in his hands, face as lifeless as a corpse, and reminded, “Strictly speaking, His Highness Prince Xiangding was adopted as a sworn brother by the late emperor, so he counts as Your Majesty’s uncle. Your Majesty should also be among his nine clans.”

Jing Xuan: “....”

“So Your Majesty, the rites between ruler and subject, the rites between uncle and nephew, all eyes are on you. If Your Majesty wishes to put on a show with Prince Xiangding, that is of course acceptable. But if the fake becomes real, that may not be worth the cost.”

Xue Qingshu lifted his gaze from the book in his hands, looking at Jing Xuan with eyes like dead ashes.

His words were as unpleasant as ever, but they were also among the rare words of proper reason around him.

Jing Xuan felt an inexplicable jolt in his heart, then quickly turned his head to look out the window. “Rest assured, even if I die, I will never let the fake become real with him.”

“Mm.” Xue Qingshu responded just as lifelessly, “But while Prince Xiangding is off limits, Imperial Zhaoyi Fang has been formally granted her title, has name and status, occasionally serving in bed would be no big deal.”

Jing Xuan turned back: “?”

Xue Qingshu said, “If Your Majesty truly wishes to make the fake real, later let Prince Xiangding fake his death, then establish Zhaoyi Fang as empress, that’s not impossible either.”

After speaking, he lifted the sage’s book in his hand: “After all, that’s what’s written in the book.”

Jing Xuan then noticed the cover of that so-called “sage’s book” had three big characters boldly written The Xiang Prince's Romance Chronicle

“Xue! Qing! Shu!”

Jing Xuan rolled up his sleeves and leapt up in a fury.

Xie Buzi hurriedly shielded Xue Qingshu in front: “Your Majesty mustn’t! Young Master Xue is a scholar, refined and courteous, how can you resort to violence!”

Gu Fang put on a fake act of holding Jing Xuan back, and took the opportunity to stealthily grope a few more times around the waist, while adding slyly, “Your Majesty, the journey is long, if Xue family’s Second Egg wants to read a few leisure books to pass the time, it’s perfectly reasonable, no need to get angry. If truly unacceptable, just punish him by making him write two more books.”

“Gu Lianzhi! Where’s your shame?!”

“What?! Xue Qingshu, your childhood name is Second Egg?!”

“Shut up.”

“Oh.”

This journey to the northern lands was indeed long, but at least it was far away from the scheming and calculations of the court, far from all those petty and sordid affairs. The repressed youthful spirit briefly recovered its unrestrained and vivid flamboyance. Amidst laughter, anger, curses, and jokes, the days did not feel dull.

Except for that merchant man doing business, who stuck to them like a ghost they couldn’t shake off. Not only did he travel with them all the way, he even stayed at the post stations with them every time, and every night, he would furiously toss around that little entertainer next door.

Becuse of this, every night he not only had to share a bed with Gu Fang, but also had to shake the bed with all his might. After more than half a month, Jing Xuan felt like his arms had grown two sizes thicker.

“Damn it, today we’re finally going to enter Shen Prefecture city and stay in a proper inn. I want to stay at the best inn, never staying next door to that surname Zheng again!”

By the official road outside Shen Prefecture city, at a shabby roadside noodle stall, Jing Xuan had both sleeves rolled up, one foot on the stool, holding up a bowl and slurping madly, his eating manners completely devoid of his usual precious delicacy.

After all, for these past twenty days, they’d been rushing the journey, rarely stopping along the way, often missing mealtimes and having to chew on dry rations. Being able to eat a hot meal was already a blessing, and it had more or less cured Jing Xuan of his picky eating habits.

But this was not quite the way to cure it.

These past few days, it was obvious to the touch—his already barely grippable waist had slimmed down a few more notches.

If this keeps up, on the full moon night a few days later, it might just snap outright.

Gu Fang picked up the few pieces of beef left in his own bowl and all placed them into Jing Xuan’s bowl, then smoothly reached his chopsticks into Xie Buzi’s bowl as well, speaking to Jing Xuan in a gentle voice: “Not all northerners are as crude as that rich merchant surnamed Zheng. You don’t have to imitate him. Besides, you’re wearing a padded skirt. you’re a woman.”

“Oh.”

Upon hearing that, Jing Xuan obediently put his foot down, held up the bowl, and started eating the noodles properly.

Also dressed in a padded skirt, disguised as a woman, Xie Buzi stared at the beef that had suddenly disappeared from his bowl: "......"

Xue Qingshu was still the more reliable one and got straight to the point: “So the last clue Silver Crane Guard found disappeared in Shen Prefecture?”

“Mm.” Gu Fang conveniently moved the raw beef from Xue Qingshu’s bowl into Jing Xuan’s as well. “The last place those three hundred thousand taels of silver showed up was Shen Prefecture. After that, it vanished. But across the entire Yan and You provinces, whether it’s horse iron, forage, or cloth, there’s been no unusual transactions.”

Xue Qingshu: “So was the silver hidden away, or was it used to buy some shady goods?”

“Who knows.”

Jing Xuan buried his head in the bowl, only feeling that this shop owner was incredibly honest. Just a few coins for a bowl of beef noodles, and yet the beef seemed endless.

His cheeks puffed out, he answered vaguely, “But anyway, if it’s hidden, then we must find the silver. If it was used to buy shady things, then we must find out exactly what was bought. Either way, we have to uncover the mastermind’s true intention and solid proof, or there’s no point going back to Chang’an.”

“But if even the Silver Crane Guard couldn’t find anything, how are we supposed to?”

Xie Buzi asked with curiosity.

He considered himself fairly clever, but he certainly wasn’t more capable than the Silver Crane Guard.

Gu Fang picked at the plain noodles in his bowl and answered concisely, “Because the Silver Crane Guard doesn’t have enough money.”

Xie Buzi: “?”

Gu Fang responded calmly, “Silver Crane Guard members are overly well-trained. once they act too boldly, their identities are easily exposed, which could alert the enemy. And to trace the flow of money, you generally have to spend a great deal of money first. But the national treasury is empty, and I, this prince, am an upright and clean official, so compared to trained soldiers, what we need more is a genuinely wealthy playboy, so the cover won’t be blown.”

Xie Buzi, being rich: “??”

Gu Fang was righteously confident: “So I suggest you write home first, to avoid having your father and mother break your legs later. The rest of us would end up having to support you for the rest of your life.”

Xie Buzi: “???”

It was Jing Xuan who finally spoke like a human, stuffing another piece of beef into his mouth and saying even more self-righteously, “It’s really nothing much. I just told Bu San Bu Si to hurry on ahead with your family seal and withdraw some money from the moneyhouses in each city along the way. By now he should’ve drawn about five hundred thousand taels in silver notes.”

“Five hundred thousand taels?!”

Xie Buzi shot up from his seat, screaming, “My ancestors! I already emptied my entire private stash losing to you last time, and now you suddenly take out another five hundred thousand taels? If my parents find out, they’ll kill me! And what the hell are you even going to do with five hundred thousand taels in a little place like Shen Prefecture?!”

Xie Buzi had handed over the Xie family’s seal in the first place to pledge allegiance and protect his family’s peace and wealth, so they wouldn’t be looted in times of war.

Now look what happened—before the war even arrived, the bandits came first. Royal bandits, no less, robbing legally.

Is there no justice in this world?

And even more outrageous, just as he finished speaking, laughter came from the roadside: “Ignorant bumpkin, fussing over fifty thousand taels in Shen Prefecture. Even if you doubled it, I could still spend it all for you properly.”

Everyone turned toward the sound and saw that same wealthy merchant surnamed Zheng, holding the little male courtesan in his arms, playing with walnuts, and slowly stepping down from the carriage.

Behind him, five of the cargo wagons were already gone—it was clear that the seasonal fruits and vegetables he had brought from the south had already been sold along the way. But no one knew what was loaded in the remaining wagons that could give him such a bold tone.

Fortunately, that merchant wasn’t one to be secretive. He sat down casually at the table next to Jing Xuan and the others, then said straightforwardly, “Shen Prefecture may not be as wealthy and prosperous as Chang’an, nor as refined and rich as Jiangnan, but it has a real money-burning den. You outsiders probably don’t know about it.”

Though Jing Xuan was born in the northern lands, he had followed his rebellious father to Chang’an at age five. Aside from the frozen market on the Taizi River, he really didn’t know of any other money-burning dens.

Xue Qingshu, on the other hand, still had that dead-face expression as he said, “The market beneath the ice.”

The merchant surnamed Zheng was slightly surprised to hear that: “Oh, didn’t expect you to know the trade?”

Xue Qingshu’s expression didn’t change at all: “My family’s in business. Traveled since young. Know a bit, but not well-versed.”

"That's true." The wealthy merchant surnamed Zheng curled his lips and said to Xie Buzi, "You should learn more from your lord at home. Don't get all flustered over fifty thousand taels. He's a titled scholar, after all. Could he really be eyeing your dowry?"

Xie Buzi: "?? ?"

Fine, fine, fine. The money of commoner rich people really isn’t money. Damn this imperial power and bureaucratic authority!

"But in any case, that market beneath the ice isn’t a place you can go." The wealthy merchant spoke again.

Jing Xuan raised his brows: "Why not."

The merchant munched on the fried peas in his bowl: "It's called a den of gold for a reason. only those with a lot of gold can enter. If everyone could go, how would it be different from the market above the ice?"

Jing Xuan frowned: "Isn't fifty thousand taels enough?"

"It's enough, sure." The merchant clearly had seen the world. "But it's not just about having fifty thousand taels. Otherwise, any government official could stroll in and ruin a lot of business. And if someone comes in with fifty thousand taels, yet is just putting on a front or has bad intentions, that could cause trouble too. So if you want to enter the market beneath the ice, you have to first go to a place, find a person, and obtain a waist token. Only then can you come and go freely."

Any place with this many rules clearly isn’t a good place.

Jing Xuan slanted a glance at Gu Fang, as if asking did you not find this out?

Gu Fang calmly ate his noodles. Of course, the Silver Crane Guards had already found all this out.

But the problem was, the Silver Crane Guards were all orphans of soldiers—upright, incorruptible, noble in spirit. They had never lived a life of debauchery. So this deadly force, normally unstoppable in the capital of Chang’an, had not a single man who could pass the test to obtain the waist token.

And they didn’t dare reveal their identities, lest they alert the enemy.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t have had to personally bring Jing Xuan to Shen Prefecture, nor would Jing Xuan have so easily accepted Xie Buzi’s surrender.

After all, Gu Fang didn’t want even one young, pretty man appearing at Jing Xuan’s side.

With that in mind, Gu Fang answered just enough: "That is the reason I brought Madam and my younger brother's wife to Shen Prefecture."

So that’s the reason.

But then why didn’t he say so earlier?

Jing Xuan felt something was off. He couldn’t help but ask again: "So what is the place? Who is the person?"

The merchant didn’t even look at him: "What place, what person? none of that concerns you."

Jing Xuan: "?"

The merchant stuffed the last of the peas into his mouth and gave a snort: "Because that place is called Luoyu House. It’s the largest brothel in all of Shen Prefecture. To obtain the waist token, you have to be selected by one of the Twelve Flower Deities and spend a night of spring passion with them. Only then do you qualify to enter the market beneath the ice. So what does that have to do with the two of you as a couple? What? are you going to visit a brothel in front of each other?"

Brothel. Flower Deities.

Spend a night of spring passion?

Jing Xuan turned his head in shock to look at Gu Fang.

Was this dog planning to swing both ways, abandon male virtue, abuse power for personal gain, and use public funds to visit prostitutes?

Gu Fang spoke slowly: "Madam, rest assured. I’ve heard the Twelve Flower Deities include both men and women, all attractive and attentive, very popular. And since my younger brother and his wife have long since ceased conjugal relations, they might as well each seek pleasure. That way, it makes things easier, avoids harming their relationship, helps release youthful desires, and after earning money at the market beneath the ice, they can go back to being a rich married couple. It's completely fair and harmless, with nothing but benefits."

Xue Qingshu: "?"

Xie Buzi: "??"

Zheng Merchant: "???"

They understood every word, but put together, it really sounded like official-speak from a wild banquet.

Everyone was shocked by such astonishingly outrageous words.

Xie Buzi couldn’t help but ask anxiously: "Wait then why don’t you go yourself?"

Gu Fang remained calm, took hold of Jing Xuan’s slightly cold fingers, met Jing Xuan’s stunned gaze, and spoke with solemn poise and gentle steadiness.

"Because my love for Madam runs deep, steadfast and unwavering. In this life and the next, in body and soul, I wish only to belong to Madam alone. I am a rare man of perfect virtue. So Madam needn’t be jealous or upset though I do appreciate your concern, I will also feel much heartache."

As his words fell quietly, the remaining leaves on the branch snapped and drifted down.

Xue Qingshu and Xie Buzi: "...."

The wealthy merchant: "..."

Jing Xuan: "......"

Why in this world can someone say such utterly absurd and ridiculous things with such a serious and calm expression, such composed and mature tone, and such sincere and earnest eyes?

Jing Xuan closed his eyes.

He suddenly understood why some people commit husband-killing.

Riceball Translations

Hi guysss. So below is the author note that I’ve translated. Here it is:

I'm very sorry. An elderly person in my family fell and was hospitalized, and the whole household is in chaos. I myself am dealing with hypoglycemia, low blood pressure, anxiety, heart palpitations, numbness in my hands and feet, and a recurrence of cervical spondylosis. My neck is in a constant state of pain with any movement. All debuffs are stacked, and I’m in a kind of calm yet hopeless feeling of death. I'm trying hard to look at the screen, but I can’t summon any trace of thought or emotion. For the first time, I feel like my body might give out before my will does.

Also, My Pure-Hearted Uncle was started hastily without sufficient preparation. Due to the daily update pressure, it gradually deviated completely from the direction I originally envisioned.

So I want to focus on staying alive, taking care of my family and my health. I also don’t want to drag everyone down or rush to a sloppy ending. I will first remove the paid status of My Pure-Hearted Uncle. If, in the future, I recover and regain energy and inspiration, I will completely revise the previous chapters and finish it as a free story for everyone.

Three months later, Jinjiang will refund part of the Jinjiang coins. If you leave a comment on the latest chapter, I will also return the Jinjiang coins you used to subscribe, and all tip tickets will be refunded through red packets.

This painful lesson of rushing back to writing and ultimately failing made me realize that I’m still too impatient when it comes to writing, too eager to start a story, forgetting to settle down and focus on the story itself. Also, as I get older, I no longer have the strong health I did just after graduation, and real life in the three-dimensional world has many more possible emergencies that can affect the writing state.

So in the future, if I start a new story again, I will stockpile the entire manuscript if it's around 400,000 words, and if it exceeds 500,000 words, I will stockpile up to 500,000 words before publishing. No matter what, I will never let something like this happen again.

I’m very sorry. This decision may really be irresponsible, but at this moment, I truly want to take a proper rest, settle down, recuperate, and try to write healthily and happily.

Bowing, sorry, thank you.

Really hope the author will recover and get well. And like I said before, I won’t update any chapters if the author updates any since I didn’t keep up. So I really wish anyone would take this project. Just please contact me.

With love from Riceball ♡