He wanted to kiss him.
Wanted to kiss him senseless, kiss him breathless.
Wanted to wet those beautifully shaped lips with damp, sticky saliva, sucking on them again and again until they turned red and swollen.
He wanted to leave his scent on him, to exchange warmth between their lips.
He wanted to nuzzle, to bite, to invade, to deepen...
Jiang Yuanye had wanted to kiss Zhou Chaosheng for a long, long time.
In every gaze they shared, in every conversation they had, his barely restrained desire had always been lurking beneath the surface.
Their distance was only a breath away, so close that Jiang Yuanye could see his own reflection in the depths of Zhou Chaosheng’s pupils. This wasn’t the first time they had been this close, nor was it the first time they were on the verge of kissing. But this time was completely different. This time, Zhou Chaosheng was the one inviting him to do it.
Jiang Yuanye stared at him, momentarily stunned. His heart clenched, and his emotions nearly drowned out all reason. He wanted to just kiss him without hesitation, to claim those lips that looked so soft and inviting.
But in the end, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about what would happen when Zhou Chaosheng regained his memory.
Inevitably, he found himself trapped in a dilemma.
Zhou Chaosheng liked him. He should be happy about that. But why did it only feel like torment and pain?
Jiang Yuanye’s heart ached with bitterness.
Probably because he had deceived him.
Not only had he deceived him, but he had greedily stolen this time that was never meant to belong to him. He had played a role that wasn’t his, indulging in a love that wasn’t meant to be his.
He was nothing more than a thief. An unworthy thief who had taken advantage of Zhou Chaosheng’s memory loss to steal emotions that didn’t rightfully belong to him.
He had already been selfish enough.
Was he really going to be even more despicable and drag Zhou Chaosheng into this abyss with him?
Even in a society that had grown more accepting, where homosexuality was no longer seen as a mental illness, it still remained a chain shackling them to societal scrutiny, a towering wall of prejudice and barriers they might never overcome.
People would look at them differently, judge them, scrutinize them.
Jiang Yuanye wasn’t afraid of that. He didn’t care.
His parents were gone, his relatives had long since distanced themselves, and the only people left in his life were his friends, subordinates, and business partners. Their opinions didn’t matter to him in the slightest.
But Zhou Chaosheng was different.
He was the only son of an influential and powerful family, born into a world of high society and complex relationships. He wouldn’t just face the whispers of his peers. He would have to endure the stares, the scrutiny, and the judgment of his relatives, family friends, and the entire social circle he belonged to.
Jiang Yuanye could bear it.
But he couldn’t bear to see Zhou Chaosheng endure it.
He gazed at those light, faintly tinted eyes. Eyes that seemed to hold an invisible hook, luring him in, tempting him. For a few seconds, he had already leaned in close enough for their lips to nearly brush, their noses gently touching.
His heart fought against itself, torn between restraint and longing, hesitation and desire...
And at this moment, Jiang Yuanye had no choice but to admit it.
Zhou Chaosheng’s cold and composed exterior was like a deadly addictive poppy, one he could never get enough of.
—
Zhou Chaosheng saw that the other person still hadn’t made a move. The impulse that had just surged up was like being doused by a bucket of cold water, completely extinguished. He lowered his eyelashes and took a step back.
“…Looks like you don’t want to kiss me.”
His tone carried an indescribable dullness.
“I…” Jiang Yuanye hesitated.
Zhou Chaosheng took another small step back.
If this was just acting, then why treat him so well? Why do all those ambiguous things that made him misunderstand?
Just now, when the other person gave him the bracelet, he was genuinely happy—so happy that fireworks seemed to explode in his heart. He thought that the other person’s feelings were at least somewhat similar to his own. Maybe not completely immersed in the act, but at least having some kind of special emotion toward him…
But now, he suddenly realized that it was all just wishful thinking. The other person giving him a gift was nothing more than playing a role; it wasn’t because he truly had feelings for him.
When Zhou Chaosheng became aware of this, a strong sense of resentment surged within him. It was so intense that it even surpassed the dislike he had felt for Jiang Yuanye when they used to be rivals.
He couldn’t stop himself from hating it. Hating that Jiang Yuanye had remained clear-headed all along, hating that he was the only one who had fallen into it. But most of all, he hated—hated how the other person was so cold and unfeeling, playing with and deceiving his emotions…
Why?
Why was he the only one who had to endure such humiliation?
Zhou Chaosheng curled the corner of his lips. His dark, deep pupils showed no waves of emotion, as lifeless as a pool of stagnant water.
“Jiang Yuanye.”
“I’ll give you one more chance. Answer me properly.”
His fingers, braced against the cold wall, slowly curled in, tightening. The tips turned pale from the force, and the veins on the back of his hand bulged, as if suppressing an overwhelming emotion.
Jiang Yuanye was trapped against the wall, his wide eyes filled with confusion. He carefully looked at the other person. “Answer… what?”
For some reason, he felt a sense of pressure he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Zhou Chaosheng’s sharp, restrained eyes had always been captivating. When slightly upturned, they could effortlessly capture all attention. But when lowered, their natural sharpness and dominance seeped through, carrying an intense sense of aggression that forced back anyone who dared to meet them.
“You tell me.”
Zhou Chaosheng lowered his gaze, asking indifferently, like a chess master who had already won, effortlessly manipulating others' emotions.
That strong sense of control made Jiang Yuanye feel as if he were stripped bare, completely exposed in front of him.
Jiang Yuanye sensed danger and instinctively tried to retreat, but behind him was the wall—there was nowhere to go.
“You don’t know?”
Zhou Chaosheng repeated it slowly.
He took another step forward, his dark eyes carrying a thin layer of mist, reflecting everything clearly. He spoke each word deliberately.
“Jiang Yuanye…”
“Are you still pretending?”
Jiang Yuanye’s heart clenched violently. He widened his eyes at the person suddenly closing in on him. “I…”
For some reason, Jiang Yuanye suddenly panicked. The way Zhou Chaosheng was looking at him—his dark, ink-like pupils were deep and unreadable, like swirling mist, as if they would swallow him whole.
“I wasn’t pretending.”
He forced himself to explain.
“You weren’t pretending…” Zhou Chaosheng stopped in his tracks, looking down at Jiang Yuanye from above. His eyes held an undeniable trace of mockery and disappointment.
“Then what were you doing?”
Jiang Yuanye didn’t want to run away, but he was afraid that if he lost control and kissed him, it would lead to unbearable consequences.
He didn’t want Zhou Chaosheng to hate him even more when he regained his memories.
He didn’t want their relationship to become irreparable.
But if he didn’t confess now, wouldn’t he lose the chance to make up for it?
Everything was still reversible.
Jiang Yuanye thought.
After a long silence, Jiang Yuanye finally spoke. “Can you listen to a story?”
Zhou Chaosheng’s voice was still cold. “…What?”
“I have a friend…” Jiang Yuanye paused.
“You mean yourself?”
“No, it’s really my friend.”
Zhou Chaosheng didn’t bother exposing him. “What happened to your friend?”
Jiang Yuanye took a deep breath and slowly said,
“My friend used to have someone he absolutely hated. Just how much did he hate him? Probably to the point where no matter what the other person did, my friend had to get involved. He had to compete with him in everything and was always trying to prove himself by defeating him. They kept competing like that, until they both grew up and entered society, each achieving some success in their respective fields.
“For a few years, they were separated. Then, at a banquet, they met again.”
Zhou Chaosheng knew that Jiang Yuanye was talking about him, but he didn’t interrupt. He patiently listened.
“They coexisted peacefully for about a month after reuniting. Then one day, out of nowhere, that person went crazy and launched an all-out attack on my friend’s company. During that time, my friend suffered heavy losses, several major projects collapsed.”
Zhou Chaosheng raised an eyebrow. Was this about their first confrontation? But wasn’t it Jiang Yuanye who had spread rumors about him first? Though doubtful, he remained silent.
“And then?” he asked.
“Then my friend investigated and found out that someone had been spreading rumors under his name, causing severe damage to that person’s reputation and, in turn, affecting his company’s stock value. That person misunderstood and thought my friend was behind it, so he retaliated.”
Zhou Chaosheng frowned. He hadn’t expected there to be more to the story. Unable to help himself, he asked, “Your… your friend, why didn’t he just explain things back then?”
Jiang Yuanye gave a bitter smile. “Because they had been rivals for so long. Plus, my friend had too much pride—he couldn’t bring himself to go and explain. After that, they fought countless times. But that person’s resources were far greater than my friend’s, so my friend was always struggling to survive, barely managing to strike back. The worst time, his company was nearly bankrupted. The night before it was to be liquidated, my friend barely managed to secure funding from investors to save it.
“And that was when he experienced the greatest regret of his life.”
“…What was it?” Zhou Chaosheng suddenly had a bad feeling.
“At that time, his relatives came knocking, demanding a huge sum of money. They claimed that after his parents died, they had taken him in, fed him, clothed him, and sent him to university. But in reality, that money had been left by his mother. They took it all for themselves and even blamed him for it. Forget food—they didn’t even let him use daily necessities that weren’t their leftovers.
“My friend once said that the time he spent under their roof was the most agonizing period of his life, second only to his own family situation. So he fought desperately to escape them. Even after he became successful, he never wanted to give them a single cent. But they constantly used his deceased mother to emotionally blackmail him. In the end, unable to stand it, he threw money at them to make them go away.
“But they became greedier. Again and again, they came back for more. That time, it happened to be when his company was in crisis. All of his accounts were frozen—he had no money to give them. So they made a scene, crying and screaming outside his company. In the end, my friend had security throw them out and told them never to show up again.”
This constant use of “my friend”... But the person Jiang Yuanye really wanted to talk about was “himself,” wasn’t it?
Zhou Chaosheng felt uncomfortable listening to it, but he still didn’t interrupt.
Jiang Yuanye lowered his eyes. “Those people started hating him after that. When threats didn’t work, they got desperate. They went to the funeral home where his mother’s ashes were kept and, claiming to be direct family, took her urn.”
Zhou Chaosheng had heard about this from Zhao Xiaohui before, but hearing it firsthand still made his stomach twist. “They… what did they do to the ashes?”
Jiang Yuanye’s voice was very low. “They… without a shred of decency, laughed as they dumped them into a sewer. Then, they recorded it and sent the video to my friend.”
Zhou Chaosheng’s heart clenched in pain. His tongue felt like lead—he couldn’t find the words to respond.
“…Did your friend hate that person for it?”
Zhou Chaosheng heard himself struggle to ask the question.
Jiang Yuanye lifted his gaze and looked straight into his eyes. He shook his head and said, “No. It wasn’t that person’s fault. My friend never expected those relatives to be so inhuman. Even if it hadn’t happened then, something similar would’ve happened later.”
Zhou Chaosheng’s throat felt dry. “And after that?”
“After that, my friend had them all sent to prison. He ended up in the hospital himself… He hated his own powerlessness. So after he was discharged, he left that person’s territory and started over somewhere else.”
“But their rivalry had already taken deep root from the very first confrontation. It only kept growing. Eventually, my friend didn’t even know if he was doing it for revenge or just to defeat him…”
Jiang Yuanye continued, “My friend is someone who refuses to lose. He kept provoking that person over and over. Eventually, that person had enough. He decided to take the fight to my friend’s home turf and crush his arrogance completely. In short, he wanted to destroy my friend’s company. Now tell me, after my friend found out, do you think he wouldn’t be furious?”
Zhou Chaosheng: “…”
Jiang Yuanye: “And then, one of my friend’s informants accidentally discovered that someone was planning to harm that person. At the time, that person had made too many enemies. A lot of people wanted him dead. My friend, remembering their old school ties, specifically flew back from abroad to warn him.
“But because my friend still really disliked him back then, he didn’t phrase things well and left out some details. In the end, that person let his guard down and got caught in an accident.”
Jiang Yuanye paused, then suddenly asked seriously, “I want to ask you—if my friend had taken advantage of the situation to get revenge, and if that person found out the truth later, would he hate my friend even more?”
Zhou Chaosheng was silent for a moment. “…Does your friend still hate him now?”
Jiang Yuanye shook his head. “No.”
Zhou Chaosheng narrowed his eyes. “Then what does your friend feel about him now?”
Jiang Yuanye didn’t even have to think. “I… my friend likes him.”
Zhou Chaosheng let out a soft “Oh.” Then, very slowly, he said, “You still haven’t answered my question.”
Jiang Yuanye was stunned. “Huh?”
Zhou Chaosheng: “Answer my question first, and then I’ll answer yours.”
Jiang Yuanye blinked. “What question?”
The sound of the wind seemed to gradually fade from their ears.
Zhou Chaosheng slowly approached. "Jiang Yuanye..."
"Do you like me?"
Jiang Yuanye froze as if someone had pressed the pause button on him. He didn't move, his gaze lowered, and he remained silent for a long, long time—so long that Zhou Chaosheng almost thought he wouldn’t answer the question at all.
After what felt like an eternity, Jiang Yuanye's lips parted slightly, and he forced out a sentence from his throat: "We are both men..."
Zhou Chaosheng said, "I know."
"...I am not as good as you think."
"I know."
Jiang Yuanye lowered his eyes, his heart feeling as if it had been pierced by something sharp. "I... also deceived you."
Zhou Chaosheng quietly looked at him for a long time, so long that the air seemed to solidify before he finally spoke softly. "I know."
Jiang Yuanye abruptly lifted his gaze, his lips, eyebrows, and the sides of his face trembling slightly. His heart felt like it was being squeezed tightly by an invisible hand, making it hard to breathe. "You know...?"
"I know."
Zhou Chaosheng answered him very calmly.
"...When did you know?"
"From the beginning."
Jiang Yuanye, after enduring that heart-wrenching pain, trembled as he asked, "So... you knew everything?"
"Mm, I knew everything."
As for what exactly he knew, they both understood clearly in their hearts.
Jiang Yuanye took a sharp breath, his throat finally loosening after feeling like it had been stuck with a fishbone for so long, making it impossible to make a sound. At the same time, his eyes started to heat up, a layer of moisture gradually blurring his vision.
"Since you already know..."
He grabbed Zhou Chaosheng’s shoulders, feeling the firm bones and body beneath the fabric, gripping tightly. He lowered his head, feeling a bit desperate, a bit reckless, as he asked:
"Then... can I still kiss you?"
Only after that sentence fell did a faint trace of amusement appear in Zhou Chaosheng's eyes. He lowered his gaze to look at Jiang Yuanye’s amber eyes, which seemed on the verge of shattering, and said softly, "I'm right here."
Jiang Yuanye blinked rapidly, trying to dispel the mist from his vision. But through that hazy light, he still couldn't clearly see Zhou Chaosheng’s expression. No matter how he tried, Zhou Chaosheng remained shrouded in layers of mist, elusive and unreadable.
Yet even so, he still understood the hidden meaning in Zhou Chaosheng's words—
—If you want to kiss me, then just do it.
Jiang Yuanye's heart was racing.
"...Can I?"
He asked, both timid and cautious.
"You talk too much..."
Zhou Chaosheng seemed to sigh. Then, when he spoke again, his tone carried an undeniable command.
"Jiang Yuanye, open your mouth."
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