Tms 28

Chapter 28: TMS

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 In the following month, Duan Zhuang always spotted that incongruous Maybach in their little run-down alley.

Eventually, gossip began to circulate in the alley about Mu Yuman and the owner of the luxury car. Despite Mu Yuman having a good reputation in the area, most of the gossip was positive. Still, it felt awkward to be the subject of others’ casual conversations.

As time went on, Gu Ting rarely drove into the alley during the day. He only appeared occasionally at night, his black vehicle blending into the darkness as it slowly entered the alley.

Mu Yuman didn’t openly mention Gu Ting and rarely brought him up in conversation. But it was evident to anyone paying attention that they were in a state of ambiguity.

Duan Zhuang observed the increasing frequency of Mu Yuman and Gu Ting’s interactions, feeling a mix of emotions that he couldn’t quite articulate, torn between relief and concern for someone far away.

Before nightfall, he sat at his desk, lit a cigarette, and stared at the two wooden carvings on his desk for a long time, harboring unrealistic dreams tinged with a sliver of hope.

What if Ji Mian found out...

What if he gave up on his sister Yuman because of this...

What if he didn’t resist same-sex relationships as much as Duan Zhuang imagined...

What if, what if...

-

During the summer between Ji Mian's freshman and sophomore years, he didn’t return home. His university collaborated with a neighboring province to establish a special student internship program, part of the strategy to recruit talent from key universities, lasting less than two and a half months, and the participating companies were quite good.

If he participated, he could earn at least five thousand yuan in internship wages before the semester started, and having more internship experience would help when looking for jobs after graduation.

However, if he participated, he would be unable to return home for at least six months.

He longed to see Duan Zhuang but also wanted to become independent and no longer rely on him. These conflicting emotions always put Ji Mian in a difficult position.

After hesitating for a long time between going home and the internship, he ultimately signed up.

So, throughout the summer, he was busy with his internship.

It wasn’t until the beginning of his sophomore year, when he returned to school and resumed classes, that he finally relaxed.

While working at the company, he hadn’t felt it, but once back at school, with the surroundings’ pace slowing down, Ji Mian belatedly began to feel the pangs of homesickness.

He hadn’t seen Duan Zhuang for half a year. Even though they talked several times a week, the feeling of being apart for so long was still uncomfortable.

During the first week back at school, Duan Zhuang’s call came as expected on Friday evening.

When Ji Mian answered the phone, he was by the small lake on campus. The autumn night breeze blowing off the lake made him shiver.

He hadn’t brought headphones, so he held the phone to his ear. “Hey, brother.”

“Hmm. What are you doing?” Duan Zhuang’s voice came through the receiver.

Ji Mian smiled.

For some reason, ever since he started college, Duan Zhuang had begun asking about these everyday topics that he had never brought up before.

“Just taking a walk.”

Duan Zhuang asked again, “Are you alone?”

“Yeah, there’s a social event tonight, and my roommates went out to have fun.” Ji Mian lightly kicked a small stone by the roadside.

He didn’t dare to mention his homesickness to Duan Zhuang because from the very beginning,

Duan Zhuang had disagreed with him going for an internship.

“You just started college, why are you interning? Let’s talk about it in your junior year.” A few months ago, when he told Duan Zhuang about wanting to sign up for the internship, that’s what his brother had said.

The next day, he called again to ask, “Is your money enough?”

Then Ji Mian found a transfer of several thousand yuan in his bank account, which troubled him greatly.

Ji Mian had rarely video-called Duan Zhuang; it felt somewhat strange for two grown men to have a video call.

During his freshman year, Ji Mian had video-called Duan Zhuang once, but it felt extremely awkward. It was probably because Ji Mian rarely made eye contact with Duan Zhuang in person, and during the video call, it seemed they were always staring at each other.

The feeling of being watched by Duan Zhuang made him incredibly uncomfortable, and Duan Zhuang also seemed a bit out of sorts, constantly lowering his eyelids and avoiding the camera.

After that, they never considered video calling again.

The lakeside at night was especially quiet, with only the occasional couple walking by hand in hand.

Ji Mian could hear Duan Zhuang’s steady breathing on the other end of the phone.

The autumn breeze carried the moisture from the lake, rustling the leaves.

Listening to this soothing yet lonely sound, Ji Mian quietly said to the person on the other end of the line:

“Brother, I miss you so much.”

There was a long silence on the other end.

Ji Mian suddenly felt a bit awkward, his face flushing.

Had he sounded a bit too sentimental?

“By the way, how is Yuman doing lately?” he awkwardly shifted the topic.

A few seconds of silence passed.

“She’s doing well.”

“...Oh.”

Ji Mian couldn’t shake off the earlier embarrassment and ended the conversation after a few more words, saying he needed to return to his dorm to shower.

After hanging up, he felt as if he had exhausted all his energy. Just thinking about Duan Zhuang's silence after he said that made him feel incredibly ashamed.

One or two couples walked by, silently casting strange looks at Ji Mian, who stood still by the lake.

He still sat down on the bench by the lake.

Leaning back against the bench, he covered his hot eyes with the back of his hand, not understanding why he felt so miserable.

...

On the other side, Duan Zhuang stood by the window, his gaze shifting from the hung-up call screen to the view outside.

From his angle, he could see the building where Mu Yuman was located diagonally across.

Downstairs, the black Maybach drove into the alley with its headlights on.

Mu Yuman got out from the passenger seat, bent down to say something, and waved goodbye to someone inside.

But the car didn’t leave; the man in the driver’s seat also got out, walked around the front of the car, and took Mu Yuman's hand.

In the darkness, their silhouettes overlapped. The man named Gu Ting leaned down and kissed Mu Yuman, who didn’t resist his kiss.

Duan Zhuang watched for two seconds before drawing the curtains.

He should tell Ji Mian: his sister Yuman had fallen in love with another person.

But he didn’t.

As a fellow unrequited lover, Duan Zhuang understood all too well the feeling of having such fantasies brutally shattered.

He lowered his eyes, staring at the neatly arranged call history of "Ji Mian" on his phone for a long time.

Until the phone automatically dimmed and the screen went black.

In the dark screen, Duan Zhuang’s half-lidded face was reflected.

He stroked the edge of his phone, his lips moving silently.

...I miss you too.