Xie Heng slept until noon, waking up a couple of times in between. He had initially worried that Ji Mian would be hungry and considered getting up to prepare breakfast, but Ji Mian pushed him back down to let him keep sleeping.
This was probably the first time in Xie Heng’s life he had slept in so late.
At eleven o'clock, he finally got up to wash up and left with Ji Mian to buy groceries for lunch.
While chopping vegetables in the kitchen, Ji Mian rushed in from the living room to help wash the vegetables.
“Didn’t I say you could just rest in the living room?”
“I wanted to eat earlier; I’m a bit hungry, Ge.”
Xie Heng couldn’t help but laugh, picking up his pace a little.
But while working, his gaze would inevitably drift towards Ji Mian.
Xie Heng had never envisioned sharing his life with anyone in a romantic way. Even when asked by his parents, he would just shake his head, indicating he didn’t yearn for such a mundane life.
He liked a routine but had always dismissed the tediousness of daily life.
Now, in the kitchen, he found that the very daily life he had once scorned was as beautiful as a dream.
Xie Heng couldn’t even imagine how he would feel if one day he lost the right to have all of this.
The thought of a future that seemed impossible to him was already unbearable to consider.
He set down the knife, walked over, and turned off the tap in the sink, then leaned down to steal a kiss from Ji Mian.
After kissing him, he licked his lips. “You… kiss pretty well.”
Ji Mian instantly straightened his back. “Is… is that so? It’s just okay.”
The next moment, Xie Heng seemed to think of something, and his brows lightly furrowed. “Have you dated before?”
“…” Ji Mian didn’t want to lie.
“Yeah, once.”
The kitchen fell silent suddenly.
The system in his mind sighed helplessly upon hearing this response.
So naïve.
How could he say the truth at a time like this?
Xie Heng didn’t have much of a reaction to Ji Mian’s answer.
He already knew Ji Mian was charming and had dated someone. Compared to the number of people who liked Ji Mian, it was very few.
But that number “one” made him feel a pang of jealousy, as if that person was particularly special. Even if there were two or three...
He suppressed the surging jealousy and pulled Ji Mian into his arms.
After enduring it for a while, he couldn't help but ask, “What kind of person is he?”
“Is he tall? Handsome?”
The system had already prepared the standard answer for Ji Mian: ‘Not tall, not as handsome as you, I’m almost forgetting what he looks like.’
However, whenever Ji Mian thought about his brother, his mind would go blank as he seriously pondered Xie Heng’s question.
His brother wasn’t as tall as he was now, but he was indeed handsome...
He didn’t know how to answer and remained silent for a long time.
Seeing him quiet, Xie Heng understood.
He was quite tall and very handsome.
He wanted to ask something else. Deep down, he knew that asking would only add to his own frustration, but he still wanted to know.
He carelessly asked, “How did you break up?”
【Please don’t say it’s because the person is gone!】
Ji Mian: 【Why?】
【...Anyway, just don’t say it.】 A deceased ex was a scarier existence than any other ex.
As Ji Mian pondered how to respond, he suddenly realized that Xie Heng’s arm had tightened around him, making it hard for him to breathe.
He abruptly realized he had done something foolish; he had made Xie Heng uncomfortable.
“Ge, you don’t need to ask anymore...” Ji Mian grasped Xie Heng’s fabric, “In this lifetime, I will only like you.”
Lying. Just a while ago, he was still pursuing someone else. Xie Heng thought this but still felt a smile creeping into his eyes.
Some words, as long as they came out of Ji Mian's mouth, made him happy, even if they were false.
Just liking him...
Xie Heng chuckled softly.
“Ge?”
“I believe you.”
“...It’s really true, objectively it is true!”
“Then subjectively, I’m happy.”
“……”
Xie Heng’s hand stroked Ji Mian’s shoulder blade, “I trust you.”
As long as it came from Ji Mian’s lips, he believed it, regardless of whether it was true or not.
Fortunately, Ji Mian didn’t often say sweet nothings. Otherwise, if he had to hear each one, it would really be the end.
After the end of the semester exams, Xie Heng's grades slipped a little.
Although it didn’t affect his perfect score, there was still a noticeable gap compared to the previous semester when he had nearly all his grades above ninety.
In the more than a month since he started dating Ji Mian, Xie Heng found it hard to concentrate in class and, coupled with his relaxation after returning home, the final results reflected this on his report card.
Ji Mian seriously lectured him for a long time; he knew Xie Heng was preparing for a doctoral program and didn’t want to affect his development plans.
“I know what I’m doing,” Xie Heng explained to him. College courses were not difficult for him; even if he didn’t attend classes for a semester, he could still pull off good grades with a last-minute review in the final weeks.
But Ji Mian didn’t believe him. “Good thing we didn’t meet in high school; dating back then would definitely have affected our studies. Brother Heng, early dating isn’t suitable for you.”
“Really?” Xie Heng furrowed his brow and mulled over Ji Mian’s words several times.
He actually wanted to be Ji Mian’s deskmate in high school.
_
Their passionate romance lasted a long time. If it weren’t for Ji Mian leaving school for an internship in his senior year and Xie Heng successfully getting direct admission to a top university, being pulled in by his advisor to start working early, their passionate romance might have lasted even longer.
During campus recruitment, Ji Mian chose to sign with a company in the city where Xie Heng’s school was located.
Xie Heng’s academic path went quite smoothly, continuing for five years from his master’s to doctoral studies, after which he remained at the university, occasionally taking time out to teach students.
Ji Mian lived a very carefree life; he didn’t like staying in the same job for too long. By the time Xie Heng was promoted to professor, Ji Mian had changed jobs six or seven times, his career development like a wild horse running free, and the job he was doing now had nothing to do with his college major.
If it weren’t for Xie Heng, whom he was reluctant to be too far away from, Ji Mian would have traveled the entire Earth.
After turning thirty, Xie Heng, as one of the mainstays of the university’s faculty, became increasingly busy, leading more and more projects. By the time he returned home after dealing with school matters, Ji Mian was already preparing for bed.
Various reasons compounded, causing Xie Heng, in his thirties, to feel more oppressed than he had in college, always feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
His life revolved around only two things: Ji Mian and work.
Ji Mian also had two focuses: work and Xie Heng. But unlike Xie Heng, Ji Mian's life extended into countless hobbies outside of those two focuses.
Xie Heng never mentioned to Ji Mian that he actually despised Ji Mian’s myriad of scattered hobbies and his “multitude of friends.”
His ideal weekend was to spend two days at home with Ji Mian, cooking and eating together or just cuddling on the couch, watching movies or doing nothing at all.
But Ji Mian’s ideal weekend was not like that; he had many friends and often spent his weekends going out with a large group—spring outings, summer hikes, autumn chrysanthemum viewing, winter skiing, and occasionally going out to exercise or socialize with friends, living the standard life of a three-dimensional socialite.
All these activities took up more than half of Ji Mian's leisure time.
On Saturday morning, Ji Mian woke up around seven. His work had adjusted his biological clock to a very regular schedule.
Last night, he had fallen asleep nestled against Xie Heng, and upon waking, he was still securely held in Xie Heng’s embrace, one arm wrapped around his waist, the other arm crossing under his neck, resting on his shoulder.
Ji Mian blinked slowly a couple of times, gazing at Xie Heng’s sleeping face, lost in affection for a while.
After a moment, he gently pushed away the arm around his waist and slipped out of Xie Heng’s embrace.
As soon as Xie Heng felt the emptiness, he woke up instantly.
Before Ji Mian could get out of bed, he knelt on the edge of the bed, stuffed his pillow into Xie Heng's arms, and tucked him in again. “Brother, you can keep sleeping.”
“……” Xie Heng looked at the soft pillow that had appeared in his arms and secretly squeezed it a couple of times where Ji Mian couldn’t see.
Ji Mian got up to change his clothes, and Xie Heng released the pillow, sitting up with his bare torso exposed. “Are you leaving?”
“Mm.” Ji Mian replied as he buttoned up his shirt, turning around to give Xie Heng a goodbye kiss.
Ji Mian kissed his forehead, and Xie Heng always felt an ambiguous sense of being unceremoniously left behind, as if Ji Mian had finished with him and was just putting on his pants to leave.
He also tried to keep Ji Mian from getting up early the next morning, but no matter how hard Xie Heng tried at night, Ji Mian would still manage to rise from bed the next day with his remarkable willpower.
For a while, Xie Heng doubted himself over this.
“What time will you be back?”
“Not sure; I should be home before dark.”
Xie Heng wanted to hit the bed in frustration but held back. He then asked, “What are your plans for tomorrow? Are you going out with them again?”
“‘Them’” referred to Ji Mian’s “friends.” Of course, “friends” was just how Xie Heng thought of them; he knew that the friends Ji Mian made were all of excellent character.
“I’m not going out tomorrow; I’ll just stay at home. If you want to go somewhere, I can go too.”
Xie Heng smirked, feeling a bit more balanced.
Ji Mian finished buttoning up his shirt and said with his head down, “Brother Heng, my department has arranged for me to go on a business trip next week.” He mentioned the name of a city in another province and added, “I might be gone for a while.”
He had originally planned to tell him last night, but he was afraid that Xie Heng would stay up all night worrying once he knew.
Xie Heng was taken aback.
At that moment, two familiar voices filled with affection suddenly popped into Ji Mian’s mind.
He almost forgot how long it had been since he last heard those voices.
【Song Yu and He Chang work in that province.】
Ji Mian squinted his eyes. “Brother Heng, what are you thinking about?”
“...Nothing.” Xie Heng indeed didn’t think much—at least not as much as Ji Mian assumed.
He simply recalled Ji Mian mentioning the business trip and remembered that there was someone named Song Yu, which in turn made him think of how Ji Mian had pursued that person in college... and he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy.
He asked, “How long will you be gone?”
“About two months.”
Sometimes, for important academic conferences, Xie Heng also had to go to other provinces, but usually he could return within a week.
Two months... That was far too long.
However, even if he didn’t want to part with Ji Mian, Xie Heng wouldn’t interfere with his work.
He simply pursed his lips and waited for Ji Mian to finish dressing before pulling him into his arms for a moment.
As time passed, the affection swelling in his chest grew deeper, reaching a point of unbearable intensity.
Xie Heng realized that love needed to be desperately suppressed. Even after obtaining Ji Mian, he still felt pain, but this pain was sweet, masking the bitter torment beneath.
His love was too abundant, and time was too short.
A lifetime felt insufficient; even loving someone felt inadequate.
He greedily wanted another lifetime, wishing for an eternity.
“If possible, come back early.”
Ji Mian replied, “Okay.”
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