As the instigator, Xie Heng’s emotions were the calmest among the group; being seen was just being seen... He didn’t actually care at all.
But he knew Ji Mian probably couldn’t handle this.
Xie Heng stood up, deliberately moving a little further away from Ji Mian.
He pursed his lips and said softly, “...I’m sorry.”
Ji Mian buried his head in his arms, weakly murmuring something that Xie Heng didn’t understand.
…
A few minutes later, when Ji Mian and Xie Heng returned to the dining table, Chen Xu was sitting opposite them, sitting upright, looking very serious.
“Xu Zi?” Ji Mian asked strangely.
Chen Xu cleared his throat awkwardly. “Um, I have no issues with you two. I just... didn’t expect that just now, so I…”
Ji Mian forced a calm nod. “Got it.”
He glanced at Jia Wenbo, apologetically biting his lip. The latter smiled back at him.
In the dormitory, besides Ji Mian, the others didn’t really have a sweet tooth, so Jia Wenbo hadn’t bought a cake. After dinner, the group took a car back and parted ways at the school gate.
Only Xie Heng was going a different way; he lived off-campus, while the other three were heading back to campus.
“Xie Heng, your home is that way, right?” Jia Wenbo pointed toward the overpass to the east.
“Mm.”
“Then Xie Ge, we’re leaving?” Ji Mian waved at him.
Xie Heng looked at his face for a long time before finally managing to let out a “hmm.”
He actually wanted to go back to the dorm; the mattress he left in the dorm was not brought back because it didn’t fit the bed in his rental place, so it had been stored in the cupboard and could still be used.
But Xie Heng also knew that Ji Mian was feeling awkward at this moment; if he went back, Ji Mian would feel even more uncomfortable.
The four of them thus split into two groups as they walked.
After entering the school gate, they reached a fork in the road. Chen Xu remembered that he was out of toothpaste and toilet paper, so he took the route that was closer to the supermarket.
With Chen Xu gone, Jia Wenbo looked around before finally asking the question that had been on his mind: “Xiao Zhou, are you really together with Xie Heng?”
Ji Mian was taken aback, hesitating as he replied, “I guess… not yet.”
He wanted to be, but at that moment, emotions were high, and he hadn’t had a chance to say anything.
“Sorry, Wenbo, I wasn’t very calm back then…”
“No need to apologize; I didn’t mind. I just thought something happened to you.” Jia Wenbo ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s fine, really. I can actually accept it; it was just a bit surprising.”
Especially surprising that it was Xie Heng who ended up with Ji Mian…
He hadn’t forgotten how horrified Xie Heng had been when he first heard that Ji Mian liked boys. The contrast with the person who had just knelt on the terrace was too stark.
“Really?” Ji Mian confirmed again.
Jia Wenbo nodded.
Ji Mian relaxed, lifted his hand, and patted Jia Wenbo on the shoulder. “Then I’m off.”
Jia Wenbo was taken aback. “Where are you going?”
“Hehe, out for the night.”
By the time Jia Wenbo snapped out of his confusion, the person who had said that was already long gone.
—
Xie Heng walked slowly, kicking a small stone he had found on the terrace with every few steps.
They had hugged and kissed, but he still hadn’t managed to clarify anything…
Xie Heng felt as though he was hanging in limbo, starting to miss the feeling of having Ji Mian in his arms, as if his whole heart had been filled.
As he descended the overpass, he kicked that small stone down the stairs. The stone bounced down the steps, making a series of crisp sounds before disappearing into the bushes below.
“…”
Xie Heng silently stared at the bottom of the stairs for a while, not wanting to go down, not wanting to go back.
He took out his phone and opened the pinned chat with Ji Mian.
Since he had confessed over a month ago, the last message in their chat had been left a month ago, alongside the missed voice call he hadn’t been able to connect tonight.
He wanted to call Ji Mian. But what would he say?
Xie Heng had a lot to say, but he didn’t want to tell Ji Mian those things over the phone.
At that moment, someone coughed behind him.
The overpass at the school entrance had three pathways: the left and right paths had stairs going up and down, while the middle path was a smooth, accessible route. None of the paths were very wide.
Xie Heng thought he was blocking the way, so he hurriedly put away his phone and said “sorry” before heading down.
A few steps down, he heard a soft giggle behind him.
Xie Heng suddenly stopped in his tracks.
The next moment, he turned around slowly, sensing something.
Ji Mian stood on the steps, looking at him with smiling eyes: “Ge, why are you walking so slowly?”
Xie Heng didn’t know how to describe his feelings at that moment; it felt as if fireworks had exploded in his brain.
Countless bright and vibrant colors instantly illuminated his world.
Xie Heng didn’t want to appear too unstable, but he knew that the corners of his mouth, which he couldn’t suppress, had nothing to do with “stability.”
Ji Mian walked down the steps and dove into Xie Heng’s embrace.
Xie Heng hadn’t expected Ji Mian to come into his arms and hurriedly caught him.
“Ge,” Ji Mian lifted his face and softly “begged,” “can you let me stay the night?”
Xie Heng didn’t reply, only stared at him for a few seconds before lowering his head to kiss Ji Mian’s lips.
After a moment, Ji Mian’s arms wrapped around Xie Heng’s waist poked at his back.
Xie Heng, however, didn’t want to let go. When the hand on his waist poked at his spine again, he reluctantly separated from Ji Mian’s soft lips, leaving just a centimeter of space for Ji Mian to speak, their noses touching, ready to kiss him again at any moment.
“Hmm?”
After emitting a single syllable, Xie Heng quickly kissed Ji Mian again.
Ji Mian: “…”
“...Ge, we’re still outside,” he reminded softly. “It’s not appropriate.”
Xie Heng: “…”
He released his hold, and Ji Mian’s arms around his waist also fell away.
The two momentarily returned to a normal social distance.
After walking side by side for a few steps, Xie Heng couldn’t help but take Ji Mian’s hand.
Let’s hurry back. He thought. He wanted to hug him, wanted to kiss him…
From resisting going back to feeling an urgent desire at this moment, Xie Heng only needed a few steps of distance.
—
Xie Heng’s reserve was completely thrown to the dogs.
As soon as the door closed, without even turning on the lights, he pulled Ji Mian’s waist and kissed him.
Ji Mian’s back was against the door. The room was dark, but not completely so; he could see a faint outline of Xie Heng’s face in the shadows, his eyes slightly lowered.
Ji Mian couldn’t make out Xie Heng’s pupils, but he always felt that the other was focused intently on him.
Their breaths intertwined, making it hard to part.
However… Xie Heng wasn’t very skilled at kissing; after a few minutes of awkward attempts, he still couldn’t find the rhythm.
Ji Mian decided to guide his brother a little.
When his tongue lightly brushed against Xie Heng’s lips, Xie Heng tightened his grip around Ji Mian’s waist, their bodies pressing tightly together.
After a while, Xie Heng’s grip around Ji Mian’s waist suddenly loosened, his palm sliding from behind Ji Mian’s waist to just above his hip bone, gently pushing him away a little, but the kiss didn’t stop.
The implication of the action was too obvious, and Ji Mian’s ears gradually turned red in the darkness.
In that fleeting moment of cognitive dissonance, his thoughts temporarily detached from the current situation.
Ji Mian thought of something and tilted his head back, trying to evade Xie Heng’s kiss. However, Xie Heng left no room for even a sliver of space, immediately following him with his lips and tongue.
Ji Mian had no choice but to gently bite Xie Heng’s tongue, but it had the opposite effect, making Xie Heng even more excited.
“…”
Ji Mian raised his hand to press against Xie Heng's forehead, finally managing to push him away.
“What’s wrong?” Xie Heng’s voice was hoarse.
His lips had separated, but his hand still held Ji Mian’s waist tightly.
“Ge, the lights.”
“…” Xie Heng reluctantly released one hand, raised his arm, and accurately bumped the switch on the wall with his elbow.
With a “click,” the lights in the room turned on, illuminating Xie Heng’s expression.
His face was very close to Ji Mian’s, his eyelashes drooping, and his dark eyes focused intently on Ji Mian’s brow and eyes. Indeed, he was very focused.
Ji Mian glanced at Xie Heng’s lips; they were red, even the skin around them looked a bit flushed.
He reminded, “Heng Ge, we have classes tomorrow.” If they kept this up, he wouldn’t be able to get to class the next day.
“……” Xie Heng reluctantly lowered his head, their foreheads and noses touching, knowing well that this was the end of it for today.
“I’ll go make your bed…”
“Mm.”
Before pushing open the guest bedroom door, Xie Heng’s mind was filled with the thought of having Ji Mian sleep in the master bedroom, but he ultimately restrained himself, fearing Ji Mian would see through his improper thoughts.
The guest bedroom hadn’t been used before, and although Xie Heng usually tidied it up while cleaning, knowing Ji Mian had a bit of a cleanliness obsession, he carefully organized it again.
Ji Mian was curled up on the sofa in the living room. Whenever Xie Heng came back and forth with blankets and sheets, he would ask, “Can I help, Heng Ge?”
“I’ll take care of the sheets, Heng Ge.”
“Ge, do you really not need my help?”
Xie Heng didn’t dare let him help. Ever since Ji Mian had taken the initiative to kiss him, he hadn’t been able to remain calm.
After placing the last soft pillow on the bed, it was done.
There were plenty of toiletries at home, so Xie Heng didn’t need to go out to buy new ones.
From going out to eat to finishing all the chores, it was already past midnight.
Both of them usually went to bed much earlier than this.
After Ji Mian finished washing up, he hugged Xie Heng and said he was going to sleep.
Xie Heng raised his hand and gently rubbed Ji Mian’s left ear, finally kissing the shiny ear stud. After helping him take it off, he kissed the earlobe too.
Ji Mian hugged Xie Heng again.
He buried his face in Xie Heng’s chest, his expression a bit complicated.
He didn’t want to leave.
Why wouldn’t his brother let him sleep in the master bedroom?
“Good night, Heng Ge.”
“…… Good night.”
The two bedroom doors closed, one after the other.
Xie Heng leaned against the door for a moment in silence before heading back to bed.
The bed had a faint scent that made one sleepy, but Xie Heng was self-aware. He knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep tonight, so he simply gave up on forcing himself to feel drowsy.
He lay on his side, gripping the soft pillow tightly.
Xie Heng repeatedly replayed everything that had happened today, including the kiss with Ji Mian. His unspoken desires bubbled to the surface uncontrollably. But this feeling didn’t stem from lust; rather, it was an outpouring of love.
Time suddenly became incredibly difficult to endure.
Please let the night pass quickly, he silently counted the minutes, praying.
Comments