After a long while, two blurry figures approached from a distance, looking like a couple. Lu Yuxing noticed and was the first to let go of his hand.
Shang Jue raised his face from Lu Yuxing's neck, taking half a step back, and playfully poked at the warm tip of his nose. “It seems… really useful, thank you.”
Lu Yuxing: “…”
The collar that Shang Jue had nudged with his nose began to let in a draft, so Lu Yuxing pulled it up but didn’t respond.
The warmth they shared during their embrace quickly faded.
He felt quite helpless and guessed that Shang Jue was probably feeling smug right now.
Lu Yuxing glanced sideways and caught sight of Shang Jue’s face, those slightly upturned eyes widening under the streetlight, staring at him intently.
Lu Yuxing's heart started to heat up uncontrollably.
When the couple passed by two minutes later, he spoke up, “It’s getting late, let’s head back.”
“Mm.”
Shang Jue didn’t let Lu Yuxing push him away, as if he had seized a glimmer of hope. In fact, it felt like more than just a glimmer; it felt broader.
What He Yang said back then had crushed his hopes, but now Shang Jue felt like he had a chance to rekindle them.
Walking alongside Lu Yuxing, he stared down at the pavement, pondering: …Is it a bit too much to take a step closer now?
Not just a bit; it was quite a lot. What was their relationship now? At best, they were just roommates. Who would get too close with their roommate?
Shang Jue’s palms grew sweaty, and when he loosened his grip, his hands quickly grew cold.
He had only just managed to derive a bit of happiness from the recent embrace, but it felt like a fragile dream, leaving him anxious that it might come crashing down at any moment.
The alcohol took its toll, and Shang Jue had a terrible night’s sleep, waking up with a splitting headache the next day.
He nearly couldn’t get out of bed, struggling to tumble out, and after two hours of studying downstairs, feeling miserable, he crawled back into bed. Shang Jue stayed under the covers for quite a while, just resting with his eyes closed, too lazy to even eat lunch.
Someone poked his bed’s railing with their finger. The sound was minimal, but Shang Jue hadn’t been asleep, so he opened his eyes.
Lu Yuxing was beside his bed, watching him.
When Shang Jue turned his head, he saw a handsome face up close, as if the warmth from the previous night’s embrace had lingered until now.
He reached out from under the blanket, touching Lu Yuxing’s brow and eyelashes. When Lu Yuxing seemed about to say something, Shang Jue quickly retracted his hand.
“What’s wrong?” His usually clear voice was hoarse from the hangover, tinged with nasal congestion.
“I’m going to the cafeteria. What do you want to eat? I’ll bring it back.”
Shang Jue had little appetite and said, “Then… could you bring me a bowl of porridge? Thanks.”
He sat up, rubbed his face, and asked, “Did they go out to study?”
Lu Yuxing responded with a faint “mm,” then remarked, disapprovingly, “You’re not eating enough. Want some dumplings?”
Shang Jue thought for a moment. “Sure.”
Lu Yuxing put on his coat and left.
His phone was on the pillow, with a few unread messages from Wen Jiayue.
Lin Yihan had something for Shang Jue, but their major exams ended early, and Lin Yihan finished her finals yesterday morning and went home. She had asked Wen Jiayue to bring it to him.
Shang Jue replied, saying he hadn’t seen the messages and asked Wen Jiayue when she was free, so he could go to the girls’ dormitory to pick it up.
[Wen Jiayue]: Are you in the dorm?
[Shang Jue]: Yes.
[Wen Jiayue]: Perfect! I’m passing by the library and can drop by the seventh dorm. Can you come down to get it?
Shang Jue replied with a “Sure,” then got up to change his clothes and went downstairs. He waited for two minutes before Wen Jiayue arrived, handing him a large rectangular bag before leaving.
Shang Jue opened the bag to find two boxes of cake.
At that moment, he recalled a few months back when he comforted Lin Yihan by giving her his cake. Yesterday, Tian Miao’s disciplinary notice had come out, and Lin Yihan must have seen it.
Receiving the thank-you gift lightened the weight on Shang Jue’s heart, and his mood brightened.
When Lu Yuxing returned from the cafeteria, he was carrying porridge and dumplings.
Noticing the cake bag on the table, he set what he was holding down on Shang Jue’s desk.
Shang Jue couldn’t help but smile slightly, saying thank you.
“Cake, dumplings, and porridge—can you finish all this?” Lu Yuxing asked in a flat tone.
Shang Jue was momentarily at a loss for how to respond.
Lu Yuxing’s expression gradually cooled down.
Shang Jue finally sensed that the atmosphere in the room had changed from when Lu Yuxing had left.
What was wrong? Did he get some fresh air and now regret hugging me last night?
Lin Yihan sent over two boxes of cake; he guessed Lu Yuxing probably received a portion as well. He randomly picked one box and handed it to Lu Yuxing. “Hey…”
“I saw Wen Jiayue coming out of the seventh dorm when I got back,” Lu Yuxing suddenly said. “You had such a bad headache you couldn’t even get out of bed in the morning, yet you got yourself ready to meet someone who brought you a cake?”
Shang Jue was momentarily stunned, his mind not quite processing it. His mouth reacted first, “When did I say I couldn’t get out of bed? I got up two hours before and just took a nap afterward! What was I supposed to do? She came all the way here; should I have made her wait downstairs in the cold?"
"Is it really that hard to say 'no'?"
"......" At this point, Shang Jue finally realized what was happening and promptly fell silent, his brow gradually tightening.
"You still want to keep playing with me, don't you?" Lu Yuxing was infuriated by his silence. "You hug me and toy with my feelings while accepting gifts from others? What do you take me for? Once isn’t enough, you want to play with me a second time?"
Shang Jue pressed his lips together, temporarily setting aside his explanation. "You're still angry with me, right? I was wrong to deceive you before, and I apologize. I went too far, but I really didn't expect it to turn out this way..."
He said earnestly, "If I had known you had amnesia for so long, I would have kept my distance, right?"
"......" Lu Yuxing opened his mouth, but was so stung by the phrase "keep my distance" that he didn’t want to say anything.
Shang Jue apologized, but as he spoke, he noticed Lu Yuxing's expression growing darker, and a thin layer of sweat forming on his forehead in the winter chill.
"Don't you want to hear my apology?"
Shang Jue couldn't help but feel wronged. "Come on, you said you wouldn't hold it against me! Is this what you call not holding it against me?"
Lu Yuxing couldn't hold back his discomfort anymore. "Since I woke up, have I blamed you? Did I say anything?"
"You’re giving me this kind of face now; that’s not blaming me? You previously said, 'When have we ever been together?' Is that nothing to say?"
Lu Yuxing took a sharp breath. "Was I trying to avoid talking to you back then? I meant, I wanted to...”
He suddenly lost his words. What was he supposed to say? That he wanted to hear the apology, the explanation, and wanted to be coaxed back? To be begged to continue being his boyfriend? Even if the tone was a bit rough? But at least, he wanted Shang Jue to leave him a way out instead of immediately asking if they should break up. What did he want him to say?
Shang Jue sniffed, first explaining, "The cake was given by Lin Yihan. She saw the disciplinary notice about Tian Miao and wanted to thank you for comforting her that night. She finished her exam yesterday and sent it over today with Wen Jiayue, along with your share."
"......" Lu Yuxing fell silent all of a sudden.
Shang Jue placed the cake on Lu Yuxing's desk. "This is from someone else. Even if you don't want it, I can't keep it for you."
Lu Yuxing opened his mouth, but the words "I'm sorry" choked in his throat, unable to come out.
However, even if he said it, his apology wouldn’t be sincere. He was not only upset about a cake; he was more upset about the underlying issues. He was tired of being manipulated by Shang Jue's every move, of being a toy, of liking someone without dignity.
What he wanted was a formal relationship, a loyal partner, which sounded like a joke when connected to Shang Jue. It only made him hate himself more for not being able to cut off this relationship.
Now, after making his point, he felt even more awkward, looking increasingly like a fool looking for trouble.
Lu Yuxing was frustrated to the point of a headache.
But Shang Jue was feeling even worse: "Toying with you? You just said I was toying with you? At this point, what do I have to toy with you?"
Lu Yuxing retorted angrily, "You know it in your heart."
Shang Jue's face tightened, and he reluctantly accepted the blame: "Fine, let's say I was toying with you. So, you just thought I was 'toying with you' while accepting gifts and being ambiguous with others? What do you take me for? You know very well that I..."
"What do I know very well?" Lu Yuxing said coldly. "I don’t even know if you like guys or girls!"
Shang Jue was stunned and finally couldn’t help but get angry: "Are you really saying you have no clue? I’ve been with you since high school; have you ever seen me flirt with anyone else or date someone else? Even if you think I’m... playing around. But besides you, have I ever played with anyone else?"
"......"
"I’ve had my first kiss with you in my entire life," Shang Jue turned his face away. "The second, third, and fourth were all with you! If you’re willing, in the future, it will always be with you, only you."
After he finished speaking, his face was already burning, and the furrowed brows trembled nervously.
He slowly turned his head back and saw Lu Yuxing's slightly parted lips and his stunned expression that left him speechless.
Shang Jue felt a bit teary-eyed, like a condemned prisoner about to be executed, preparing himself to place his head on the guillotine, but then couldn’t help but shrink his neck: "But if you don’t want to, can you just pretend you didn’t hear that last bit?"
Lu Yuxing didn’t speak, clenching his lips tightly, but his eyes were getting brighter, and fireworks began to bloom magnificently in his mind.
No, he couldn’t forget.
Shang Jue raised his hand to press his palm against his forehead, brushed his hair back, then shyly let his hand slide down to cover his eyes, and finally, not knowing what to do, he lowered his hand.
"……"
After confessing, only tension and awkwardness remained. He braced himself to meet Lu Yuxing's gaze. "Do you have a clearer idea now about whether I like boys or girls, or who I like?"
Lu Yuxing's eyes were dark and bright, his gaze passionate and straightforward. For a moment, Shang Jue thought his memory-lost silly dog had returned.
Feeling scrutinized made his face heat up again. He stepped back slightly, leaning against the cold metal ladder to cool his flushed cheeks.
They remained silent for a moment.
Shang Jue spoke up, "Can you answer the question first?"
"Which one?"
"If you don’t want to answer, can you pretend you didn’t hear what I just said?"
Hearing Shang Jue's roundabout way of asking, Lu Yuxing refused to answer directly. Instead, he reached out and grasped Shang Jue's wrist, gently pulling him back.
With no support from the ladder, Shang Jue had no choice but to lean half-sitting on the edge of Lu Yuxing's desk.
He had long legs, and when he sat down, his feet touched the ground. Lu Yuxing stepped closer, his knee pressing between Shang Jue's legs, leaning down until their noses nearly touched, their breaths gradually intertwining, each movement seeming to lead to a kiss.
But that idiot was somehow holding back.
Shang Jue felt his throat tighten, and he tilted his chin, brushing against Lu Yuxing's lips, resisting the urge to kiss him softly a few times.
Lu Yuxing seemed to particularly enjoy his initiative, every muscle in his body tightening with excitement, his face and neck quickly turning red. Only when Shang Jue wrapped his arm around Lu Yuxing's neck did he suddenly lean down, kissing Shang Jue fervently.
Shang Jue had initially just been sitting on the edge of the desk, but Lu Yuxing pressed him backward until his lower back hit the cake box on the table, producing a distorted plastic sound.
Lu Yuxing ignored it, focusing solely on kissing and caressing Shang Jue's waist.
At first, Shang Jue didn’t want to mind; he felt dizzy from the kisses, his head filled with light, drifting clouds.
But the box was pressing painfully against him, and he worried that the cake inside might get squashed.
He lowered the fingers that were tangled in Lu Yuxing's hair and gently pressed against his moving throat, trying to signal him to pause. Instead, Lu Yuxing became more excited at the touch, pushing his thigh up more forcefully, only to suddenly stop at the loud plastic crack.
Shang Jue twitched his mouth, not daring to look back.
After a moment, he asked Lu Yuxing, "Can we still eat it?"
Lu Yuxing turned to look behind him, uncertainly replying, "It should be fine."
Now realizing that Shang Jue's previous actions were meant to call a halt, he picked Shang Jue up, shifting them both toward the center, wanting to continue.
"…Maybe I should just get down," Shang Jue said. "This is your desk, not my bed."
"…"
Hey Everyone!
We’re excited to share that this blog is now a team effort! A few talented translators have joined us, and we’re working hard to improve the quality of our translations.
If you spot any errors, please let us know—your feedback is super helpful. Remember, some of our translators are still learning Mandarin, so there may be a few hiccups, but we appreciate your understanding!
We’ve got 12 chapters left before the story wraps up, plus 18 extra chapters coming soon! If you enjoy our work, consider donating on Ko-fi. Your support goes a long way in helping us keep things running smoothly.
Thanks for reading, and keep an eye out for more updates—our translators have some exciting new projects in the works!
Comments