It took Lu Yunsheng nearly half an hour to process the fact that his brother was gay.
After the initial shock, he felt even more confused.
After all, he had watched Lu Yuxing grow up and could find no hint that he liked the same sex.
“When did you realize you liked boys?”
“I have a boyfriend. We’ve been together for two years. But I lost my memory, so I’m not sure exactly when I realized I liked boys.”
“...”
With every word Lu Yuxing spoke, Lu Yunsheng felt like his world was shaking.
Not only did his brother like boys, but he had also kept a boyfriend a secret!?
“Uh... I don’t think I ever heard you mention it before.”
He wasn’t the type of parent to be closed-minded; he had friends who were gay. However, accepting this situation with his brother was still somewhat difficult.
“Yeah. I’m sorry, brother.”
Hearing that apology made Lu Yunsheng silently sigh in his heart. He reached out and patted Lu Yuxing on the shoulder.
“I know you well enough. As long as you’ve thought it through, that’s good. You should also know that this path isn’t easy. Just... treat him well.”
Lu Yuxing swallowed hard, feeling a slight bitterness in his heart.
At this point, whether his amnesia would improve was left to chance. The plan he had to break up with Shang Jue once he recovered his memories now seemed indefinitely delayed.
Besides, with his current condition—someone who couldn’t even remember how to scan a QR code—Shang Jue still said he would be “by his side no matter what.” Yet he found himself nitpicking and constantly thinking about breaking up.
“I understand, brother.”
The treatment hadn’t been very effective. Lu Yunsheng thought about taking Lu Yuxing abroad for further examinations, but he was refused.
Compared to wasting time in a hospital, returning to school might be more beneficial for him.
And if he continued to fall behind in his studies, he might have to withdraw from school.
In mid-October, Lu Yuxing finally returned to A University.
When he got back to school, Shang Jue happened to have class and couldn’t come find him right away.
Lu Yuxing returned to the dormitory first.
As he walked in, he caught his two roommates packing their bags, seemingly preparing to go out.
Ge Zhicheng turned around when he heard the door open, his face lighting up. “Lu Ge!”
“Hmm.”
“Why didn’t you tell us you were coming back? If I had known, I would have gone with Yingzi to pick you up at the school gate.”
Lu Yuxing hated this kind of trouble.
“How’s your illness?”
Lu Yuxing shook his head and briefly explained his condition.
His roommates in 323 had been eagerly awaiting his return for weeks. Hearing that Lu Yuxing’s treatment hadn’t been effective, they couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed, but they didn’t dare show their emotions, knowing that Lu Yuxing was the one suffering the most.
Ge Zhicheng cautiously asked, “So, Lu Ge, what are you planning to do next? Are you going to look for other hospitals?”
“No. If I’m lucky, maybe one day in the future I’ll remember everything.”
“If I’m lucky…”
Ge Zhicheng found it all a bit far-fetched no matter how he thought about it.
Seeing them dressed like they were about to go out, Lu Yuxing asked, “Do you have class later?” He had checked the class schedule when he returned, and there were no classes scheduled for their class that afternoon.
“No, we’re going to the library. Midterms are coming up soon... During the month you were gone, Yingzi and I slacked off too much. Our performance in a few of the online tests wasn’t great, and if we don’t start studying for the midterms now, we’re really going to fail.”
In their freshman year, with Lu Yuxing around, he single-handedly held up the entire dorm. During regular quizzes and group assignments, his roommates could rely on him without hesitation. Of course, everyone in the dorm was also aware enough not to completely slack off, fearing that they would annoy Lu Yuxing too much.
Most of the time, Lu Yuxing was easygoing, but he definitely had his temper. Not long after the start of their freshman year, Ge Zhicheng had been called out by Lu Yuxing once over hygiene issues. When he made the same mistake again, Lu Yuxing didn’t tolerate it anymore and directly scolded him. Lu Yuxing’s fierce look could be quite intimidating, and even when he wasn’t swearing, he could be scary when he got angry.
Ge Zhicheng, a sturdy guy from the North standing at 1.8 meters tall, was so intimidated by Lu Yuxing’s aura that he didn’t dare to say a word, enduring a thorough scolding instead.
“Midterms.” Lu Yuxing repeated the two words.
His memory of university was limited to the less than a week he spent at A University after his amnesia, and he hadn’t expected that midterms existed in college as well.
Ge Zhicheng suddenly remembered that Lu Yuxing would also be taking the exams with them. “Crap, Lu Ge, can you still take the midterms? Our department has three major courses that require exams!”
At that moment, Lin Xuying suggested, “Why not talk to the instructor? Given the special circumstances, they might be flexible. It’s not just the midterms; in two months, we have finals. Without the foundational knowledge from freshman year, there’s no way we can pass the major courses. With so little time left, it’s impossible to catch up on a year’s worth of material.”
Lu Yuxing replied, “I’ll ask about it later.”
After saying that, he returned to his seat to pack up his things and clean the room. It had been a month since he last came back, so there was some dust on his desk.
Ge Zhicheng and Lin Xuying had their backpacks on but stood there hesitating, as if worried about Lu Yuxing.
Lu Yuxing turned and said, “You guys go ahead. I can handle it myself.”
Perhaps it was because Lu Yuxing had always seemed capable during their freshman year, effortlessly giving off the impression that he could manage everything calmly.
Ge Zhicheng hesitated for a moment; studying was indeed urgent, so he said, “Then we’ll head to the library first. If you need anything, make sure to contact us!”
“Yeah.”
The two left, and the dorm door was gently closed behind them.
After tidying up his luggage, Lu Yuxing pulled up the course group chat that he had muted for a long time and went through the notifications one by one. He then listed the tasks he needed to complete and estimated the time and effort each would require.
Finally, he assessed his available time.
It was clearly not enough.
“…”
In the end, he called his instructor.
The math department’s advisor was named Wang, in his thirties, and the students affectionately referred to him as Old Wang. Lu Yuxing had received several scholarships last year, and his grades were among the top, so it was expected that he would continue his studies at A University’s math department without any issues. As it concerned his grades, Old Wang was quite invested.
After a discussion, Old Wang said he might be able to push the final exam for the courses to the next semester, to be combined with the makeup exams. Although Lu Yuxing had missed several weeks, it was a special circumstance, and he would discuss attendance with each subject’s teacher to see if he could receive a fair grade.
However, there was no way to do that for the midterms; there had never been a precedent for creating a new exam just for one person, and it wouldn’t be fair to give Lu Yuxing arbitrary points while others had to take the exam.
He would either have to go take the exam or consider taking a leave of absence.
Most of the major courses in the math department were quite difficult, and without the foundational knowledge from freshman year, combined with Lu Yuxing not having attended classes for almost a month, facing midterms upon his return was indeed tricky, even for someone as unflappable as him.
On the other end of the line, the instructor continued to persuade him, “You’ve already missed nearly a third of the classes this semester; if you miss more, I won’t be able to help you. Discuss it with your family in the next few days and see if you want to apply for a leave of absence for a year.”
Lu Yuxing propped his elbow on the desk and pressed his fingers to his forehead.
“Thank you, teacher. I’ll skip the leave of absence. I’ll prepare for the exam.”
What would it mean to never remember and just take a leave of absence for the rest of his life?
Lu Yuxing disliked being passive.
After hanging up the phone, he pulled a math textbook from the shelf and casually flipped through a few pages. The pages were filled with unfamiliar mathematical symbols, long strings of formulas, and dizzying matrix transformations…
For the first time, he felt utterly helpless when facing mathematics. This feeling was new to him, but it was definitely not a pleasant experience. The prospect of completing an impossible task in a short amount of time was both despairing and overwhelming.
Lu Yuxing hadn’t expected that there would come a day when he would worry about exams.
—
As midterm week approached, the diligent Shang Jue spent nearly all his free time in the library or at home studying, immersing himself in his studies to the point of feeling dazed.
From a young age, he had been instilled with strict family values and elite education, which made it hard for him to break free from that mindset even after entering university. He still aimed for perfection in everything he did. Plus, there was someone in his department he couldn’t stand, making his university life just as stressful as high school.
So focused on his studies, Shang Jue completely forgot about Lu Yuxing’s return to A University for several days. When he finally remembered, he realized their chat had been silent for three days. Their last exchange had been Lu Yuxing's message saying, “I’m back at school,” followed by Shang Jue’s simple reply of “Okay.”
It was strange; ever since Lu Yuxing began to believe they were a real couple, he started messaging Shang Jue more often, even if the messages felt like chores—things like “Good morning” or “Have you eaten?” But now, after days without contact, it felt unusual.
Shang Jue thought for a moment and typed:
Shang Jue: Busy lately?
After sending it, he didn’t expect a response. When lunchtime came around, Lu Yuxing replied with two messages.
Lu Yuxing: I’ve been studying these past few days.
Lu Yuxing: Sorry, I’ve been so busy that I forgot about you.
Shang Jue: …
Suddenly, Shang Jue was grateful he was just a fake boyfriend; if he were a real partner and saw his significant other ignore him for days, only to say, “I forgot about you,” he’d be furious.
He glanced at the pile of notes filled with calculations beside him. The blue UI of the question bank on his phone was giving him a headache. Studying so intensely had made him feel exhausted.
Stretching back in his chair, he pushed off from his desk with his foot, letting the rolling chair bounce him gently against the door. After a few rounds of this, he picked up his phone and called.
“Hey, baby.”
“Can you save a spot for me in the library this afternoon? Why? Of course, it’s because I miss you.”
It was time to take a break; studying too hard meant he needed to find some fun.
—
He quickly had lunch, just a pack of instant noodles and some snacks. Since moving out of his dorm, he often ate at school during class times and relied on snacks at home on weekends.
The takeout near school wasn’t great, and the food didn’t even compare to instant noodles. Although Shang Jue came from a well-off family, it wasn't so wealthy that he could afford to pay for expensive seafood delivery from the other side of the city like some classmates did.
After lunch, he headed to the library, following the seat number Lu Yuxing had sent him. When he arrived on the right floor, he found him sitting at a table, absorbed in his studies, completely unaware of the bustling crowd around him.
The seat Lu Yuxing chose was a two-person spot, with dividers on either side, making it very quiet—hard to find, especially during midterm week when couples often snatched them up early in the day.
As Shang Jue pulled out the empty chair across from him, Lu Yuxing finally noticed and looked over. His face appeared paler than usual, with lips devoid of color.
Seeing this made Shang Jue frown. He leaned closer to check and asked, “Baby, are you sick?”
Lu Yuxing replied, “No, just feeling a bit uncomfortable. I’m not sick.”
“Feeling like this and saying you’re not sick?”
Lu Yuxing sounded surprised: “How did you know?”
Shang Jue replied, “Your breathing is heavier and slower than usual.”
It was a reflex when experiencing pain—taking deeper breaths to adjust.
How did he even notice that?
Lu Yuxing hadn’t realized his breathing was any different.
“Your observation skills are impressive!”
Shang Jue casually said, “It’s not that; it’s just that I know you too well.”
Lu Yuxing paused, taken aback.
“So, where does it hurt?”
Meeting Shang Jue's focused gaze, Lu Yuxing paused for a moment, unsure why he ended up telling the truth: “... My stomach hurts.”
Shang Jue was clueless about the traditional examination methods. He didn't know where his confidence came from; he lowered his eyelids and reached out to press on Lu Yuxing's upper abdomen.
Shang Jue's sudden action surprised Lu Yuxing. He wasn’t used to being touched, so his body instinctively tensed up, setting up a defensive barrier with his muscles from his waist to his abdomen, becoming as rigid as a rock.
When Shang Jue's palm met the firm, warm muscle, he paused briefly, then tried to convince himself: This surely isn't muscle; it's probably a huge stone.
Comparing grades with Lu Yuxing was already exhausting; he didn't want to complicate things by taking on a fitness journey as well.
Seeing Shang Jue casually assume that Lu Yuxing's stomach problem was just a common cold, as if a mere touch would reveal the exact issue, Lu Yuxing was left speechless.
Fortunately, Shang Jue didn’t lift his gaze, so he didn’t catch the look Lu Yuxing shot him, one that said he thought Shang Jue was a bit foolish.
Lu Yuxing knew himself well; he wasn’t actually sick. The stomach was an emotional organ; he simply had a bad mood these past few days, which reflected in his body.
Of course, he would never tell Shang Jue such an embarrassing reason for his stomachache. However, seeing Shang Jue seriously diagnose his stomach, Lu Yuxing felt the tension he’d been holding onto for days strangely ease a bit, and a rare smile flickered in his eyes. “What did you diagnose?”
Shang Jue withdrew his hand and said nonchalantly, “Stomachache, needs to go to the infirmary for a check-up. Come on, your boyfriend will accompany you.”
He clearly hadn’t seen anything significant but spoke with such conviction. It seemed like his meaningless actions were just to persuade someone who didn’t take their health seriously to see a doctor.
Lu Yuxing slowly blinked his dark eyelashes, fixing his gaze on Shang Jue, as if he could see a somewhat twisted warmth beneath Shang Jue's calm expression.
He swallowed, “I have midterms in two days. I haven’t been able to study, so I didn’t rest much. The stomachache is because of that.”
Upon hearing this, a genuine disbelief surfaced in Shang Jue’s eyes. “You mean you caused your own stomachache by studying?”
Lu Yuxing misinterpreted this disbelief as concern from his partner and whispered, “Something like that.”
Shang Jue: “...”
He instinctively grabbed the fabric of his own shirt over his abdomen, momentarily stunned, thinking: I’ve never caused myself a stomachache through studying...
Shang Jue took a deep breath, suddenly overwhelmed by intense self-doubt.
I can't believe I’ve never rolled my eyes at this foolish dog!
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